Seven Lucky Stars
by Zokusho
Summary: Pastiche of Akira Kurosawa's movie, Seven Samurai, with characters from Lucky Star.
1. Chapter 1

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき すた), chapter 1

* * *

Storm clouds were gathering at a spring morning in medieval Japan. A large group of warriors was riding through the hills of the countryside. Three of them rode ahead of the others, leading the way.

The first one was a tanned, brown-haired girl, wearing a helmet decorated with a golden half-moon. A distinct fang was showing in her mouth when she grinned,. The second wore no helmet, letting her long orange hair sway freely as she rode. The third was unusual. She was the tallest of all the riders, a blue-eyed woman with short hair. She was a _gaijin_, carrying a _gaijin_ weapon – a musket.

Fast and proudly they rode, knowing that no one would step into their way. They were the rulers of the countryside. Misao's Clan, bandits, which took anything they wanted: food, horses, boys; and mercilessly teased those who didn't yield. As their leader saw a village down in the valley, she slowed down and raised her hand. All the others restrained their mounts and stopped.

The leader spoke, "Ah. The village. We took their rice last autumn! There's nothing to take now. When the barley is ripe, we shall return! Okay, Ayano? Patty?"

"_Hai, Misao-sama!"_

After the bandits had rode off, a very short, red-haired woman, with her emerald eyes wide open in fear, rose from her hiding place in the bushes and dashed back towards the village.

* * *

Nearly everyone in the village had gathered to the center square. Men were kneeling and crying, while women argued about what to do. Yutaka Kobayakawa had brought the news about the bandits and when they would be returning.

The men wailed and cried. "The Goddess has abandoned us! Taxes, wars, labor obligations, draughts, lack of _moe_ … and now, bandits!" – "Our Lady doesn't protect us!" – "We pay taxes to her, so she should be protecting us!" – "She will only come after the bandits have robbed us."

"Better to give everything to the bandits and hang ourselves. Perhaps our Lady would then care about us!" one of the men cried.

Yutaka stood up and shouted, "Let's make bamboo spears. Fight the bandits!"

Yukari Takara, one of the other village leaders, said, "We can't do that. It's impossible. Those are sharp objects and someone might get hurt!"

"Oh yeah … you're right. We can't do that … we are just peasants anyway. And if we did that … they would just do everyone. Including men and children," Yutaka said, and sat down again.

"We were born to suffer. It's our destiny. Let's just give them all the food. Kneel before them and pray they leave something for us too." – "And would they listen? Would they?"

Everyone fell silent.

"Let's go to Hiyori Tamura -san and ask for advice," Yutaka finally suggested.

"What! How could that village idiot help us? All she does is daydream."

"But it is said she has prophetic visions." – "Yeah, right." – "Well, does anyone have any better ideas?"

There was no answer.

The villagers walked over the bridge and to the mill, where Tamura-san lived. Hiyori, known for the unusual "_gaijin _goggles" she wore, was sitting in the corner. She was surrounded by piles of parchment, full of writing and drawings. The group of villagers explained the situation to her.

Finally, Tamura-san said, "We will fight."

Some of the villagers gasped. Someone said, "We can't fight. We are just peasants!"

Tamura-san continued, "We will hire samurai to protect us. Long, long ago, before any of you were even born, I read a manga about a situation like this. Bandits had ransacked and burned all the local villages. But one village was intact. They had hired samurai. We could do that."

"How? We aren't rich. We don't have any money! Samurai are proud. Would a samurai work for food?" Yutaka shouted. Someone else muttered, "What? Before we were born? I was born years before Tamura-san … she's, what, fifteen?"

Ignoring the protests, Tamura-san continued, "We still have some rice. Find hungry samurai. Offer her meals. Even a _tsundere _shows her _deredere_ side when she is starving…"

"What?"

"Oh. Never mind that. That was just an idea I got," Hiyori said, and started to scribble on a piece of parchment.

"Would one samurai be enough to protect us?"

"No. Get three or four, at least."

As they were about to leave, Hiyori added, "Oh! And get at least one who is _moe_!"

Yutaka, Yukari, and a few other leading women of the village gathered their things, and, most importantly, a large jug full of rice, and headed for the nearest large town. They stayed at the cheapest possible place – a stable with a common room, where other poor people and riff-raff also spent the nights.

The next morning, they started to look for suitable samurai. Many of them were travelling through the town or living there. They all were proud women, openly carrying arms and wearing silk kimonos, most wearing their long hair free or having fashionable hairstyle. It took a long time before they had gathered enough courage to ask even one.

Suddenly, the crowd scattered, as Yutaka rolled on the ground, and then knelt before the _naginata_-wielding samurai who had thrown her down. "I might be poor but I'm a samurai, not a beggar!" she shouted. Proudly tossing her head, she spitted out the word _"Baka!"_ at Yutaka, and walked away.

Yukari came to help Yutaka up. "This is hopeless…" she said.

Back at their lodging, the villagers sat down together, heads bowed. "Barley is soon ripe. We have been here for days without any success …" – "And we gave so much rice and _sake_ to that samurai, who just ate and drank, bitch-slapped us and left …"

"We are just peasants. We don't know anything about samurai."

"So what do you want to do? To go home and negotiate with the bandits!?" Yutaka shouted.

"What else can we do? We haven't found any samurai!"

"… what will we offer to the bandits this time. Your son, Yukari? Would they like your son? Minoru … he is young and good-looking."

"Shut up…" Yukari said.

Next morning, they had packed their things and started to head back to the village. Then they noticed that a large crowd was gathering to the edge of the town. "What's going on?" Yutaka asked.

"A male bandit was almost caught but he took a child as a hostage yesterday. He's in that barn and says he'll kill the child if anyone approaches. But there's a samurai who says she'll rescue the child. And she's … well, come and see. It's so strange."

The crowd had circled a blond samurai, whose long hair was being gathered and twirled by another woman.

"She's getting a topknot! That's unheard of." – "A samurai with a topknot!" – "How strange!"

When the topknot was ready, the samurai handed her sword to the woman and wore a _yukata_ she had borrowed, and took a tray with rice cakes on it into her hands.

"She looks like an _obaasan_ now!" someone in the crowd said.

The blond samurai took a nasty glance towards the person who spoke and protested, "Hey! I'm not old! This is just a disguise! I'm barely 25 … 22 years!"

"Yeah, right … she's like, thirty…"

The crowd followed, keeping a respectable distance. The blond samurai, now disguised as an old woman, approached the barn. Child's crying could be heard. The man inside screamed, "Don't come any closer! I will kill the child!"

With a shaky, raspy voice, the blond samurai said, "Don't worry. I'm not doing anything. I'm just an old _obaasan _and I bring you food. You must be starving."

"Throw the food in!" the bandit shouted.

The blond samurai approached, opened the door, and threw one of the rice cakes in. At the same moment, she dashed forward. A clink of metal could be heard, then a scream, _"Doryaa!", _and a loud thump. Seconds later, the bandit ran out of the door and stopped. He stood there for a couple of seconds, with his eyes rolling. Then, he collapsed onto the ground, pressing his hands firmly into his crotch. He seemed to have trouble breathing – when he finally managed to draw a breath, he exhaled it with a very high-pitched, painful moan.

The child's father dashed forward. The blond samurai stepped out of the door and handed the child to him.

A very short samurai girl, with blue hair that reached almost her heels and carrying a sword sheath that seemed almost longer than herself, dashed to the fallen bandit, and bounced around him, making silly noises. This presentation gave the crowd enough courage to arrest the helpless bandit. He was still unable to act and they carried him away.

The villagers looked at each other. "Should we ask her?" Yutaka said. As the others seemed to agree, Yutaka started following the blond samurai. "Quickly, before she disappears."

As Kuroi-sensei was walking away along the road, one of the samurai who had been watching the incident dashed forward and bowed before her. This samurai was very young, and her short violet hair had been tied up with a yellow ribbon.

"_Sensei!_ My name is Tsukasa Hiiragi! I was very impressed with your skills! Can I be your follower?"

"I am Nanako Kuroi. I used to be a teacher, but I have left that life. I have no followers. I'm not especially skilled. Many battles I have fought, and lost most of them … or at least some of them. There's little I could teach you."

"I still want to follow you."

"I forbid it. I can't afford apprentices. Get up, we can talk while walking."

Suddenly, the short, blue-haired samurai also dashed past the villagers and jumped to faced Kuroi-sensei. She just stared at her intensely but did not speak. She started to walk around Tsukasa and Kuroi.

They ignored the blue-haired samurai and walked forward.

"Sensei, what did you do to that bandit? It seemed painful," Tsukasa said.

"Oh, that was just a Fire and Stones Nutcracker. Basic _joseijutsu_. Males! They should get married and stay at home. They are no match even for someone with as limited skills as myself."

"Sensei! I have decided to follow you, no matter what!"

"You embarrass me. I'm not that skilled or good-looking."

The blue-haired girl ran after them, and jumped around. She stopped to just stare at Kuroi-sensei. "What now?" Kuroi asked. "What do you want?"

The blue-haired one walked around Kuroi and glared at her.

Tsukasa dashed forward and yelled, "What arrogance!"

The blue-haired girl glanced at her and said, "Stay out of this event scene."

"Are you a samurai?" Kuroi asked.

The short girl stuck her ridiculously long sword-sheath into the ground, grasped it, took a pose, and announced, "Of course I am!"

"I wonder how," Kuroi answered, and started to walk away. The blue-haired girl snorted and marched to the opposite direction.

"Who was that?" Tsukasa asked.

"Forget her."

Yutaka had gathered her courage, ran forward, and kowtowed before Kuroi. "Sorry to disturb you! But I have something to ask you, Kuroi-_sama_! My name is Yutaka Kobayakawa and our village is in great danger."

The other villagers also approached, and kowtowed before the samurai. Yutaka explained their troubles to Kuroi-sensei.

* * *

At the lodging, Kuroi and Tsukasa, were discussing the situation.

"So, the hills on the side of the village are accessible to horses. There are fields on the other sides. They are dry at this time of the year. And there are fourty bandits …"

Kuroi took some time to think.

"… something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue ... so, we need at least four samurai. I guess I'm the first one of them – but note that I'm not old! Just a bit older than you guys. Barely 21."

"Something new … Tsukasa-kun, you are in! Congratulations."

"Sensei! Thank you!" Tsukasa said, and bowed.

Kuroi continued. "Something borrowed – we will be borrowing my old deputy, Yui Narumi -san. She's in town and is coming here."

"Something blue – neither of us, or Yui, have blue hair, and we don't wear blue. Got to work on that. Then, we need two more for reserve, and one extra for good luck. That makes seven. Seven samurai," Kuroi concluded.

"Tamura-san said, three to four. But I don't feel secure with just four, not even with seven. Against fourty bandits …" Yutaka said.

"Seven! How can we find that many?"

"We already have three, so perhaps it's possible."

Next day, Kuroi-sensei, Tsukasa and the villagers were walking around, looking for more potential samurai to hire. They saw another crowd gathering to a nearby meadow. Someone was yelling, "Come to see this!"

They saw two samurai, facing each other, holding bamboo sticks. Another had long, scarlet hair, the other, two long pigtails of violet hair. The scarlet-haired samurai held her stick high, while the pigtailed girl simply waited. Letting out a battle cry, the scarlet one charged. At the moment of contact, the pigtailed samurai swung the bamboo. Both seemed to take a hit.

"That's that. I win!" the scarlet-haired samurai proclaimed.

"Sorry, but you lost," the pigtailed one said.

"I did not!" – "Yes you did!" – "Did not!" – "Did too!" – "No, I didn't!" – "Yeah, you did."

"Okay then! Prove it!" the scarlet-haired girl shouted. "Let's try again, with real swords!"

"Bah. You would just get hurt. Give up!"

The scarlet-haired girl drew her sword and raised it up. "Draw your weapon!"

Sighing, the pigtailed one drew her sword and held it in the same position as before.

"Why challenge her when the result is obvious," Kuroi-sensei said.

"How is it obvious?" Tsukasa asked.

"That pigtailed samurai is _tsundere_. A mere _tsuntsun_ is no match for someone with the power of love."

"What?"

Before Kuroi-sensei had time to answer, the scarlet-haired girl charged the other samurai again. After a flash of metal and a loud clinking sound, something red flew through the air and spread onto the grass.

"You … you …" the scarlet-haired samurai stuttered, "… cut my hair! My long hair is gone!" and held a hand to her head.

The crowd gasped and murmured. "Oh no!" – "What a shame!" – "It must have taken years to grow it that long!" – "She shouldn't have challenged that samurai!"

With her head bowed in shame, the now much shorter-haired samurai limped away.

Tsukasa dashed forward to face the pigtailed samurai, who was calmly wiping her sword with a clean piece of white silk, and bowed. "Excuse me! My name is Tsukasa Hiiragi. I was very impressed!"

Kuroi-sensei followed, and explained what they wanted.

"My name is Kagami Hiiragi. Sorry, but I don't want to kill bandits. I'm only interested in honing my skills," the pigtailed girl said.

As they walked off, Kuroi-sensei said, "Well, she knows where we are if she changes her mind. Oh, Tsukasa-kun, are you and that pigtailed girl related? She looks a bit like you and has the same surname."

"Well … I don't know. If we are, I can't remember," Tsukasa answered.

"How could you forget something like that?"

"Hihi … I sometimes do forget."

* * *

So. Something like one-fifth of the movie covered. Yeah, it should be more descriptive. This is an epic task, and I'm not sure if I can ever complete it. Of course, this will not be a copy of the movie (that would be pointless). All scenes will not be included and many things will differ. It will probably get more and more different towards the end.

In this version of medieval Japan, men mostly stay home and care for the children. Women are the leaders and samurai. _Joseijutsu_ (art of women) is a martial arts style, instead of _j__ūjutsu_ (art of softness).

As yet, I don't have the screenplay, so I'm just watching the movie over and over again. And it has only Finnish subtitles. But perhaps this is better, there's no temptation to copy anything directly from the screenplay.

In the film, when Kikuchiyo claims he's a samurai, Kambei answers, "_Doo kana" – _"I wonder how." This is not how it is usually subtitled. If it's not translated correctly, we don't know why Kikuchiyo becomes angry. There are probably lots and lots of similar subtle differences in the Japanese dialogue and subtitles. I just happened to spot this one.

The casting is complete – that was the first thing I did. I will not reveal all of them as yet; here are the ones that have already been mentioned.

Casting (surnames before first names):

Seven Lucky Stars:  
**Kuroi Nanako**: leader of the seven (Kambei Shimada)  
**Narumi Yui**: once Kuroi's deputy (Shichirōji)  
**Hiiragi Tsukasa**: a young unbloodied samurai who wants to be Kuroi's disciple (Katsushirō Okamoto)  
**Hiiragi Kagami**: a supremely skilled swordswoman (Kyūzō)  
**Konata Izumi**: mercurial, temperamental and weird samurai (Kikuchiyo, original actor Toshirō Mifune)

Villagers:  
**Tamura Hiyori**: village seer, who tells the villagers to hire samurai (Gisaku)  
**Kobayakawa Yutaka**: a timid village leader (Yohei)  
**Takara Yukari**: a farmer who fears for her son's purity when surrounded by the dashing samurai (Manzō)  
**Shiraishi Minoru** (as Takara Minoru): Takara's son (Shino)

Bandits:**  
Kusakabe Misao**: Bandit leader**  
Minegishi Ayano**: Bandit second-in-command**  
Martin Patricia**: musket-wielding bandit


	2. Chapter 2

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき*すた), chapter 2

* * *

"Hoi! Hoi! Come here! Takara-san is back!" a villager shouted.

Everyone hurried to the centre of the village. "You're back! Where are Kobayakawa-san and the others?"

"They are still in town, hiring more samurai."

"So you already found some?" – "Great news!" – "Let's go talk to Tamura-san!"

The villagers walked to the mill. Yukari went in, followed by as many villagers as could easily fit into the small room. Hiyori was sitting in the corner, as usual, surrounded by piles of parchment with scribbles and drawings on them. As she saw the visitors, she grabbed a couple of empty pages and a pen, and adjusted her _gaijin_ goggles.

"Tamura-san," Yukari said. "We have succeeded in hiring samurai."

"So, what are our samurai like? How many have you gotten?"

"Three so far. The leader and the first one we managed to hire is Nanako Kuroi. She's really skilled. She rescued a child hostage from a bandit by disguising herself – "

"What does she look like? Is she good-looking?" Hiyori interrupted.

"Eh? She's got long, blond hair and green eyes. And quite a large … chest. I – I think she is good-looking."

"And the others?"

"A young samurai, Tsukasa Hiiragi, wanted to become Kuroi-_sama_'s follower. I don't know how good she is with the sword –"

"I don't care about that! What does she look like?"

"She is kinda cute. She has blue eyes and violet hair."

"How many samurai you are hiring in total?" Hiyori asked.

"Seven!" – "Oh, that many?" – "Can we feed that many?" the other villagers murmured.

"I know you said four, but I thought …" Yukari said.

"I was thinking about ten or so. Good that I didn't say ten, you would have gotten fifteen. Not that I wouldn't mind seeing fifteen dashing samurai in this town …" Hiyori said, getting a dreamy look on her face.

"But … I am worried. Boys fall easily for samurai … and make advances. My son …"

"Hah! Have you forgotten about the bandits? Up to forty barbarous, reckless women! Do you think they would leave the boys alone?"

"Oh. Yeah…"

"So, what's the third samurai like?"

"That's Kuroi-_sama_'s deputy, Yui Narumi. We met here in town the other day and she will join us later. She must be skilled because –" Yukari stopped when Hiyori looked up and her lenses flashed – "… eh, she has short, green hair, brown eyes, and she wears goggles like you. She's quite rowdy. Perhaps she's from Osaka."

All this time, Hiyori was busy scribbling notes on the parchment. "Good, good. Not only we get rid of bandits, but I will get lots of ideas for the new _shunga_ and other works I've been planning!"

"Eh?"

"Never mind. I hope they remember what I said about _moe._"

Yukari stood up and was about to leave. "Oh! I almost forgot. There was yet another samurai, but we didn't hire her yet. She was quite … unusual. Shorter than anyone else, and carried a sword sheath longer than herself."

"What? Does she have long blue hair?"

"Yeah. And lots of it. Her hair almost reached her heels. She got an _ahoge_ on top of her head, and the most unusual emerald eyes."

"And a flat chest?" Hiyori asked. Yukari nodded.

"Legendary Samurai A!" Hiyori yelled.

"What?"

"Don't you know? Oh, of course you don't know. You are not in any circle."

"Sorry, Tamura-san, but I don't understand."

"Never mind … Legendary Samurai A might be coming here! I must be prepared …"

Hiyori started to throw parchments around and muttered to herself.

* * *

After leaving the mill, Yukari headed for her home. Her son, Minoru was there, washing some clothes, and singing a happy folk song about a house-husband waiting late at night for his wife to come home from hard day's work.

"_Okaasan! _You're back! Are you hungry? Should I cook something for you?"

Yukari did not reply. With a grim, serious look on her face, she stared at her son.

"Mother? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Take off your clothes. Wear this," Yukari said, and threw a _yukata_ at Minoru.

"What? Woman's clothes? Why?"

"And here's a wig I bought at the town. From now on, you must wear a _yukata_ and wear this to look like a girl with a long hair. Don't talk to anyone if you can help it, but if you do, try to imitate a girl's voice."

"Mother! I don't understand!"

"There are samurai coming to our village! They are dangerous! This is for your own protection! Do as I said or I will punish you."

Minoru started to cry. "But mom, I don't want to be a woman…! I don't like feminine things like battles, gambling, or riding. I'm a boy! I like plush toys, cooking, and gardening … I want to get married and to have a wife who is nice to me …"

"Stop crying! I order you to behave like a woman. Women don't cry. Goddess, perhaps I should have raised you as a girl to begin with. It would have been so much easier. Girls don't need to be pampered."

* * *

In the town, the Hour of the Cock was approaching. Kuroi-sensei kept looking at the doorway. "There's no sign of Yui-san yet. Wonder where she is? … Oh, and now I remembered something. Tsukasa-kun!"

"_Hai!_"

"It wouldn't be fair if we don't test Yui-san too. So, hide there and when she comes, hit her on the head with this stick."

"Who?"

"Have you forgotten? My old deputy, Narumi Yui, is coming here soon. Ambush her and hit her on the head when she comes."

"What!?"

"That's how we will test our new recruits. Hit hard too, it's good exercise."

"O-okay, sensei."

After a few minutes, they heard someone approaching. "It's her," Kuroi whispered. "Get ready!"

A woman with short, green hair, wearing _gaijin_ goggles, and carrying the _daishō_, two swords of the samurai,staggered in. "_Yahoo!_" she shouted, and waved her hand enthusiastically. At the same moment, Tsukasa caught her on the head with the stick. Yui-san never noticed anything and fell on her face, knocked out cold. A strong stench of _sake_ wafted through the air around her.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I thought she was going to dodge or something," Tsukasa said.

Kuroi-sensei slapped her forehead. "She was drunk again … I told her that this task will not bring money or glory and that it might be our last one. Guess she decided to have fun before we go."

* * *

At the morning, Tsukasa brought a wet towel to Yui-san, who was suffering from a terrible headache. "I must have drunk too much last night," she moaned, while setting the towel on the top of her head.

"Yes. That must be it," Kuroi-sensei said. "Let's try to find more samurai today. The villagers say we don't have many days left. And there's a lot to do even if we get enough women."

"_Sensei!"_ Tsukasa said. Yutaka was approaching the place, accompanied by a tall, serious-looking green-haired samurai, carrying a longbow on her back. "She has found another one!"

"Get the stick! Hit that girl when she enters," Kuroi whispered.

At the doorway, Yutaka bowed and beckoned the green-haired girl to enter first.

However, she stopped. Her expression didn't change, but she said, "Joke?"

Kuroi-sensei brightened up. "Excellent! Sorry about this. Let me explain."

After hearing Kuroi-sensei, the girl said, "Minami Iwasaki. I'm in," and bowed. After that, she walked in and sat down. Yutaka followed, and offered to make her a cup of tea. Minami just nodded.

"Sensei … she's kinda quiet. And a bit scary …" Tsukasa whispered.

"She seems competent enough. And carrying a _daikyū_ is a very promising sign. We can't exactly afford to be picky," Kuroi whispered.

Talking aloud, she said, "Okay! Let's go. Yui-san, if you feel good enough, go look for more samurai. Iwasaki-san, you can stay here in case someone comes to offer her services."

* * *

Meanwhile, in another part of the town, Meito Anizawa was standing at the doorway of his shop, watching for potential customers. The business had not been good lately.

Suddenly, among the crowds, he saw a very short girl, with a mass of blue hair and a distinct _ahoge_ on the top of her head. The girl was carrying a ridiculously long sword-sheath.

Meito immediately stepped back into the shop and shouted, "It's Legendary Samurai A! She's heading this way!"

A new clerk Meito had recently hired had a dumbfounded look on his face. "Huh?"

"There's an urban legend that whatever Legendary Samurai A buys, will become popular! Lamica, others! Here, quickly! Be prepared to present anything she might want. I'll personally present her our latest woodblock prints!"

With some panicked dashing around, they got themselves ready just as the blue-haired girl entered. "Welcome!" they shouted in chorus.

"Here's our latest release!" Meito announced.

"Can I take a look?" Legendary Samurai A said.

"Certainly!" Meito said, bowed and handed the book to her with both hands.

Slowly, the girl turned the pages. All the employees watched her intensely. "Hm-hmm …" she mumbled.

"Umm … how do you like it? We put a lot of work into the _onsen_ scenes!"

"Too much males."

"Er … that's what _shunga_ is about …"

"That's disgusting. I don't like it."

She tossed the book back to Meito's hands, turned around, and walked out.

A virtual fireball exploded, sending the disheartened artists and employees flying in all directions. "Why!? What did we do wrooong …"

* * *

Yui-san had plopped down on a bench and was sipping water a townswoman had brought to her. As she was drinking, the woman said, "Excuse me, samurai-_sama_. I have heard you look for samurai to hire."

"We do. You know anyone?"

"Well … there was this samurai who came to me, asking for something to eat. She didn't have any money, and I said she could chop some firewood in return. However … samurai-_sama_, it might be best if you come to look for yourself."

The townswoman showed the way to the back yard. There, they saw a pink-haired, voluptuous samurai, again one of _meganekko_, those who wear the _gaijin_ goggles like Yui-san herself. She had placed a billet on top of the chopping block, and was currently holding an axe above her head with both hands. Yui-san and the townswoman stopped and watched. The samurai took a long time to aim, and then swung the axe. She missed the billet and sunk the axe deeply into the chopping block. "Oh!" she exclaimed, and, started to yank at the axe, which was stuck fast.

"She has managed to chop something like three billets in the past hour," the townswoman whispered.

"That's … that's so _moe!_" Yui gasped. She approached the pink-haired girl, who had not yet managed to free the axe, and said, "Excuse me, my name is Narumi Yui. We are looking for samurai to help us in a battle."

"_Gokigenyou_. My name is Miyuki Takara. I'm sorry, Narumi-san, but I'm not very skilled. And battles are scary. I usually run away …"

Yui laughed and said, "That doesn't matter! You are so _moe_ that that is more than enough to raise our spirits!"

"Oh! Thank you, Narumi-san … I don't quite understand what you mean, though."

"Never mind. I must tell you that this mission is not going to bring us gold or glory …"

As Miyuki continued her futile attempts to chop wood, Yui explained the situation.

* * *

As Tsukasa saw the two samurai approaching the stables, she whispered, "Kuroi-sensei! Should I hit them on the head? … And … eh, which one? Yui or that other one?"

"Neither this time. It seems Yui-san has found us another one, which is too cute to be hit," Kuroi answered.

"Welcome!" she said aloud.

"_Gokigenyou_. My name is Miyuki Takara. This is embarrassing. I'm not especially skilled or anything …"

Kuroi laughed and said, "Good evening … I mean, _gokigenyou_! My name is Nanako Kuroi. These are Tsukasa Hiiragi and Minami Iwasaki. This here is Yutaka Kobayakawa, one of the village leaders. And Yui Narumi you already know. I trust she has explained you what this is about?"

"Thank you, Kuroi-san, she did. I try to be of assistance," Miyuki said and bowed.

"She's so cute," Tsukasa whispered.

"Not only cute. She's _moe_!" Kuroi whispered back.

"Sit down, have some tea! Tell us more about you," Kuroi said.

They chatted for a while – all except Minami, who stayed mostly quiet, replying only in single words whenever asked about something.

"So … we need just two more," Kuroi said.

"One," Minami said.

Others turned to look at the doorway. Kagami Hiiragi was standing there. As everyone's eyes focused upon her, she blushed. "I … I decided to join you after all. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"That's great! Welcome, then. Have a seat!" Kuroi said. She continued, "Okay. We leave tomorrow morning."

"But didn't we need seven samurai?" Tsukasa asked.

"We don't have any more time. We must go. So let's just forget about the seventh one."

They discussed their plans for a while and took another cup of tea. As the night fell, they were preparing their beds. Suddenly, they heard singing from the outside.

"_Sake wa nome nome momu naraha, hino moto ichi no kono yario…"_

They peeked outside. A very short blue-haired samurai, carrying a ridiculously long sword sheath on her back and a large book in her hands, paced back and forth on the street, while singing _Kuroda Bushi_.

"Is she drunk?" Tsukasa whispered. "I'm not sure. I think she's reading that book and singing ..." Kuroi whispered.

Kuroi plopped her head out of the door and shouted "Oi! Why are you making such noise?"

The girl stopped singing and looked around. As she noticed the doorway, she started to walk towards them.

"She's coming! Tsukasa-kun, get the stick and prepare to hit her!" Kuroi whispered.

The blue-haired girl marched towards the doorway, stomping her feet furiously. "You!" she yelled. "You insulted me the other day. I've been looking for you …"

As she stepped inside, Tsukasa swung the stick with all her might – and missed, only brushing the _ahoge_ slightly. The stick hit the side of the doorway and snapped into two. Tsukasa lost her balance and fell down. The blue-haired girl didn't even notice her. She just glared at Kuroi while kicking her _waraji_ off her feet.

Ignoring her, Kuroi got up and went to check Tsukasa and to help her back on her feet. "How did you miss her?" she whispered. "Sensei, she was much shorter than I thought …"

Meanwhile, the blue-haired girl glared at each of the other samurai in turn with her emerald eyes.

She took an especially long look at Miyuki, who quickly started to feel uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, but why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

The blue-haired girl just shrugged and said, "_Moe_", and moved her eyes to her next victim.

Finally, she looked at Kagami, who got an uneasy feeling of being feasted on by the emerald eyes.

"What are you staring at!" Kagami snapped.

"Not _moe_!" the blue-haired girl exclaimed.

"Now wait a minute … that's very rude!" Kagami yelled.

Kuroi got in between of them and talked at the blue-haired girl. "We didn't invite you here, but take a seat and have a cup of tea anyway. I am Nanako Kuroi, and these are …" – she introduced each of the others in turn – " so, what's your name?"

"I am Konata Izumi! A mighty samurai!"

"What's that book you are carrying?"

"It's just an _yuri shunga_ I picked up today. A new woodblock print imported from Akihabara in Edo!"

"So it's a picture book?"

"How dare you call it just a picture book? It's sophisticated art! A form of _manga_. You folk obviously don't know anything about art. So, I will continue reading it now. Bring me that cup of tea."

Konata sat down and went silent for a while, turning the pages of her book. Tsukasa couldn't resist sneaking behind her and taking a peek, but she immediately blushed when seeing a page and turned away.

* * *

"By the way, Hiiragi-san, no, not you, Hiiragi-san, but you, Hiiragi-san … this is too confusing! So, can we just call you two Tsukasa and Kagami?"

"Of course, Kuroi-sensei," Tsukasa said. "Very well …" Kagami said and sighed.

"So, Kagami-san. May I ask, why did you change your mind?" Kuroi asked.

Kagami's blushed again. Everyone was watching at her with curiosity. Finally, she stuttered, "I … I felt lonely."

Konata put her book down, jumped up and stared at Kagami from an uncomfortably close distance. "What? Why are you staring at me again?" Kagami snapped.

"Odd. Still no feeling of _moe_ even when you said 'I felt lonely' in that tone," Konata said.

Kagami groaned, "Are you trying to pick up a fight?"

"Kagami-san, just forget her. She's not a samurai and she's not coming with us," Kuroi said.

"I am deeply insulted again!" Konata exclaimed. "I am a samurai and I can prove it!" she continued, took a roll of parchment from her bag, and tossed it onto the floor. She jumped up and tapped her finger at the last entry on the scroll. "Take a look at that!"

Kuroi started to read it. "Izumi, Konata, samurai of Clan Izumi … so are you this Konata?"

"Exactly!"

"Born at the _Daiei_ 6, during the reign of _Go-Nara_ … well, I have to say that you look quite young for your age."

"What?"

"You don't look 61 years old," Kuroi said. Everyone burst into laughter.

"What! I … you … you must have read that year upside down! It says _Daiei_ 9!"

"So, you look young for a 58-year old then."

"That … that was actually my great-grandmother! I am the direct ascendant!"

"Don't you mean descendant?"

"You don't have to teach me, teacher!" Konata yelled. "A true samurai doesn't need book wisdom!"

"Okay, whatever you say. But you are not coming with us," Kuroi said.

"Bah!" Konata said, sat down into the corner and started to leaf through the book again.

* * *

About one-third of the movie handled.

Six daytime hours of the traditional Japanese time system (used until 1873) were Hare, Dragon, Serpent, Horse (noon), Goat, and Monkey. The six night hours from sunset to sunrise were Cock, Dog, Boar, Rat (midnight), Ox, and Tiger. Thus, the "Hour of the Cock" :)

I thought long and hard, but couldn't come up with anything funnier than being hit on the head with a stick. So, the recruits are tested in the same way as in the movie, but with somewhat different results.

The year count is real, if I got it right. Seven Samurai happens at _Tensho_ 15, which was 1587 CE. _Daiei 6_ was 1526 CE. Japanese number 6 upside down is not 9, of course (but this isn't Japanese).

Here's the complete casting:

Seven Lucky Stars (surname before first name):**  
Kuroi Nanako**: leader of the seven (Kambei Shimada)**  
Iwasaki Minami**: the second samurai, skilled with _daikyū_, longbow (Gorōbei Katayama)**  
Narumi Yui**: once Kuroi's deputy (Shichirōji)**  
Takara Miyuki**: an amiable though less-skilled samurai whose _moe_ maintain her comrades' good cheer in the face of adversity (Heihachi Hayashida)**  
Hiiragi Tsukasa**: a young unbloodied samurai who wants to be Kuroi's disciple (Katsushirō Okamoto)**  
Hiiragi Kagami**: a supremely skilled swordswoman (Kyūzō)**  
Konata Izumi**: Legendary Samurai A, a mercurial, temperam­­ental and weird samurai (Kikuchiyo, original actor Toshirō Mifune)

Villagers:**  
Tamura Hiyori**: village seer and an artist, who tells the villagers to hire samurai (Gisaku)**  
Kobayakawa Yutaka**: a timid village leader (Yohei)**  
Takara Yukari**: a farmer who fears for her son's purity when surrounded by the dashing samurai (Manzō)**  
Minoru Minoru** (as Takara Minoru): Takara's son (Shino)

Bandits:**  
Kusakabe Misao**: Bandit leader  
**Minegishi Ayano**: Bandit second-in-command  
**Martin Patricia**: musket-wielding bandit


	3. Chapter 3

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき*すた), chapter 3

Better late than never: I'd better mention that this story might contain spoilers for a movie, Seven Samurai (1954), directed by Akira Kurosawa. So if you haven't seen that movie yet, please, watch it. It's one of the best movies ever made. Don't be scared by its length.

* * *

Yutaka woke up early. All the samurai and other villagers were still sleeping. Suddenly, she got a feeling that something was wrong. Something was misplaced.

Yutaka's heart skipped a few beats. _"The rice jar! Someone has moved it!"_ she thought. She dashed forward to look into it. All the rice was gone. And, as she noticed, her own meager rations were missing too.

"Stolen … all gone. Anyone could have sneaked in and taken it. This place doesn't even have a door! I should have stayed awake and kept watch," she whispered. "Now they won't have breakfast, or anything to eat for the whole day. They will be angry. They will probably refuse to go …" Yutaka mumbled quietly. Tears began to flow on her cheeks. "I shouldn't cry … I'm a woman and not some sniveling male … but this is terrible."

Gently, she shook another villager awake. "Ssh. Keep your voice down. Someone has stolen all the food. Do you have anything left? Or any money?"

"Yutaka-san, that is terrible!" the villager whispered. "No, I don't have anything … what can we do?"

Yutaka heard a clinking sound. She saw a few _mon_ coins on the floor in front of her. As she raised her gaze, she saw Minami Iwasaki, holding a finger to her mouth – indicating them to keep quiet.

The villagers kowtowed before Minami and clasped their hands together. She looked a bit embarrassed and whispered, "Don't tell anyone."

Yutaka whispered to her friend, "Hurry, take the jar and go buy some rice."

After the other villager left, Yutaka kept staring at Minami. The samurai ignored her and practiced drawing her bow.

* * *

After breakfast, the six samurai and the villagers were packing their things. Konata of clan Izumi was still sprawled upon the pile of hay she had fallen asleep on, snorting and talking in her sleep.

"Tsukasa-kun?"

Tsukasa had sat down, leaning on the wall, and fallen asleep. She woke up when Kuroi shook her shoulder. "Sorry, sensei! But that … samurai was really noisy. I kept waking up during the night …"

Miyuki took a long look at the blue-haired girl and said, "But she's cute when she's sleeping."

Kagami whispered, "Let's keep out voices down and not wake her up! She might follow us."

Yui asked, "Kuroi-san, should we take her with us after all? Then we would have seven samurai as we planned."

"I'm not sure … should we take a vote?" Kuroi asked. "Anyone who wants her to come with us, raise your hand."

Miyuki and Yui raised their hands. Minami seemed to think for a while, and then she slowly raised her hand too.

Yutaka had a distressed look on her face. The samurai did not notice her. _"There's something about that blue-haired samurai. I want her to come with us, but I don't think I have a vote … they aren't even looking at me,"_ she thought. She decided not to raise her hand, fearing that the samurai would take it as an insult.

Tsukasa looked at Kuroi expectantly. But as sensei did not raise her hand, she didn't do it either.

Kagami said, "Three votes for, three votes against." She glanced at Yutaka. "Our peasant leader doesn't seem to be raising her hand, so it's settled then." Yutaka gasped, but no one paid any more attention to her. None, except Minami Iwasaki. For an instant, she gave her a smile and a compassionate, understanding look, and then quickly returned her face to its usual serious state.

Despite her words, Kagami was not quite so sure about it after all. _"Takara-san is right. She is very, very cute. And … I think … I have seen her before. I wish I could remember,"_ she thought.

"But … anyway …" Kagami said, "… perhaps … it would be rude to just leave her without saying goodbye!"

She approached the sleeping girl and pushed her shoulder. "Oi! Wake up, Kona … Izumi-san."

"_Shimazu_ cowards! They are using muskets!" the sleeping girl shouted, startling Kagami.

Konata opened her eyes, and said, "Oh. It's _tsundere_! Good morning!"

"Good morn … what did you just call me!?" Kagami said.

"Never mind. Hey, are you leaving already? I'm coming with you!"

"No. We are going now, but you are not coming with us. Definitely not! It would just have been rude to leave without waking you up first." Kagami explained.

Hastily, Konata started to gather her things, while the others walked out and down the road.

* * *

The six samurai walked through the hills outside the town, lead by Yutaka. Konata followed a hundred yards behind them. "She's following us," Yui said. As they stopped, so did Konata. She squatted by the roadside until they started moving again.

Later, the group took a break on the cliffs atop of a waterfall. Below, the water gathered into a small pond before it streamed further down. As the travelers sat down to rest, they saw Konata, carrying a bundle of sticks, below them. She dropped her bags and sword sheath, piled some of the wood at the shore of the pond and used flint and steel to light a small fire.

"What's she doing?" Tsukasa asked.

"Cooking lunch, perhaps."

Konata took pieces of paper from her bag and started to roll and twist each sheet into a string. She finally braided the strings together into a cord.

Kuroi's eyes widened. "So she can make paper _tasuki_, just like that."

"Sensei?"

"Making that kind of cord from paper is a secret art, passed down from generation to generation."

Konata's next actions surprised the onlookers a bit.

"She's … she's taking her clothes off!" Kagami gasped. Involuntarily, she started to blush, hoping no one else would notice.

"Not knowing is Buddha," Kuroi said. "Let's just ignore her."

However, most of them were oddly fascinated by the blue-haired weirdo's antics and couldn't look away. After stripping, Konata tied her long hair up with the cord she had woven, and jumped into the pond with a splash. She swam around for a while, and then apparently dived – only the _ahoge_ remaining on the surface. After a minute, she stood up again, and yelled in triumph. She was holding a wriggling fish in her hands. Bouncing happily, she dashed to her campfire, skewered the fish into a stick and stuck that into the ground close to the fire.

Most of her audience laughed – except Minami and Kagami, the first because she never seemed to laugh, and the second being too embarrassed with herself. She couldn't turn her mesmerized eyes away from the nude figure. _"Uhh … why can't I look away? I must have seen her before. Not naked. I'm quite sure she was not naked … I would not forget that!"_ she thought.

Konata entered the pool again, and soon emerged with another fish.

"Is she going to catch more? I wonder what fish those are." Tsukasa asked.

"I believe those are _ayu_ – sweetfish. They are very delicious," Miyuki said.

"Oh yeah, I think I have tasted them too," Tsukasa said.

"All of us have, probably. It's a very common fish," Kuroi said.

"Maybe. I myself don't know much about cooking. That's men's job!" Yui exclaimed.

With a triumphant scream, Konata jumped out of the water, holding another fish. She dashed back to the fire and skewered it as well. She took the other fish, that had been grilling for a while, and checked whether it was ready. With a sly grin on her face, she waved the half-cooked fish at her audience, and yelled, "_Korede! Korede! Korede!_"

Kagami got a feeling that she was being targeted. "What, is that twerp offering us grilled fish?" she said in a disparaging tone. Actually, she could smell the aroma of the fish and felt a pang of hunger. _"Damn … I've had mostly just rice for the past days … but I can't take up on her offer!"_ she thought.

"Can we just move on?" Kagami asked. "Nah, let's have lunch too. I'm starving," Kuroi said.

"One male told me that _ayu_ is the best when fresh, grilled, and sprinkled with salt. It was really good," Miyuki said. "I think I have also had it as sashimi and in a stew."

"Yeah! Father's fish stew was the best," Tsukasa said. "Nothing tastes better than father's cooking."

Kagami walked away from the others, sat down, and tried to satiate her hunger with dry rice balls leftover from breakfast, and also tried not to listen to the others chatting about food.

* * *

The cool shadows of the forest offered some relief from the hot afternoon sun shining from a cloudless sky. According to Yutaka, they had only a few miles left before the village.

"I haven't seen her for a while," Tsukasa said. "She gave up?"

Kagami said, "Good. She's not following us anymore. She must have lost our tracks. … Although, I kind of miss her now, when she's gone …"

They heard a loud shout ahead of them, _"Yahoo!"_

Konata bounced onto the path in front of them, grinned, pointed forward, and shouted, "This way!"

Kuroi laughed. "Okay. It seems we can't get rid of her."

Konata let them walk by, staring at each one of them with curiosity. When Kagami came up to her, she started to walk by her side. Kagami did her best to ignore the blue-haired weirdo, who stared at her intensely.

"So, you missed me?" Konata asked.

"No!"

"Strange …"

"What is strange? Besides you."

"Just a dream …" Konata said, looking thoughtful. Then, she burst into laughter, and started to bounce forward, singing _Kuroda Bushi_ again.

"_That song is from Ky__ū__sh__ū__ …"_ Kagami thought. _"I wonder …"_

* * *

Yutaka pointed forward. "There it is!"

They were standing on a hilltop, and saw the entire valley. The village had about a dozen houses, and was surrounded by hills to the north and east, and by fields to the other directions. Past the village ran a small river, which was not neither wide nor deep enough to stop any bandits. A watermill stood on the riverbank. From here, they could see that this village was practically open to all directions. Defending it as it was now might be impossible.

Kuroi sighed, and said, "Doesn't look good."

Yui said, "I see what you mean."

"What? Looks like a nice place to me. Full of pretty young country boys!" Konata exclaimed.

"Hah. So that's what goes on in your mind," Kagami said.

"I was thinking for Tsukasa-san and other maids," Konata said, and eyed the others one by one.

Tsukasa gasped, but couldn't find any sort of comeback.

Kuroi said, "Okay, okay. Let's get rid of the bandits first and think about that later."

"Why can't we have fun and get rid of the bandits at the same time?" Konata complained.

"Nobody asked you to come along," Kuroi said. "Have all the fun you want, but stay out of our way. And, Yutaka, you don't have to feed her because she is not one of us. She can pay or work for her food. Let's go."

"I bet you will change your mind when you see how I handle the sword!" Konata exclaimed. "I train hard every day … at least mentally!"

Kagami growled, "If we didn't have more important matters at hand, I might challenge you … with wooden swords, of course. I don't want to hurt you too badly."

"Please, stop arguing … let's get to the village now," Tsukasa pleaded.

The others were already walking ahead of them.

* * *

"Oi! Oooi! We are here! The samurai are here!" Yutaka shouted at the top of her small lungs.

Only cicadas' song answered them.

They were standing at the center of the village. All doors and windows were shuttered and nobody else was outside.

Konata laughed loudly, sat down, took her book from her bag and started to turn its pages.

"Did … did the bandits already take everyone?" Tsukasa asked.

"No. From up there, I saw them scurrying into their hiding places like cockroaches," Kuroi said.

Yutaka was too out of breath to scream anymore. "Let's … let's go ask … Tamura-san … what's going on …"

She started to lead their way to the mill. Konata didn't bother to accompany them. Kagami turned around a couple of times and looked back. _"Just a dream …"_, she thought. _"What did she mean? Did I meet her in a dream?"_

Kuroi entered first, and saw a _gajin_ goggles –wearing girl sitting in a corner, surrounded by piles of paper and parchment. Seeing her guests, she took a deep bow. Her lenses flashed as she raised her head again.

"Good, good! Just as described! You must be Kuroi-sensei. I am Hiyori Tamura. Let's see all the others too! Is … Legendary Samurai A with you?"

"Legendary who?" Kuroi asked.

"Oh, you don't probably know what I'm talking about. First things first. Could you line up so that I can take notes and perhaps draw some quick sketches?"

Kuroi seemed a bit annoyed. "Now just wait a minute! We came here to help you fight the bandits, not to pose for you. Although … " she smiled, " … are you an artist? I wouldn't mind having my picture drawn. You could emphasize my good points like …"

Miyuki said, "Ahem. Sorry for interrupting, but I think we were supposed to ask about the village…"

"Oh yeah. Why is everyone hiding?" Kuroi asked.

"They are afraid of you," Hiyori answered.

"Why? Shouldn't they be afraid of the bandits instead?"

"They fear for their boys' and husbands' purity when all these dashing samurai are around."

Tsukasa gasped, "No, that's not true! That was just Konata-san's imagination! I'm not at all like that!"

Kuroi snickered. "So they would rather have bandits around their boys and husbands?"

"Well – "

Hiyori didn't finish what she was about to say, because, suddenly, a loud banging noise could be heard from the village. "It's an alarm!" Hiyori said, and started to get up.

Yutaka, villagers and all the samurai ran towards the village as fast as they could.

Village folk were now scurrying out of their hiding places and gathering at the centre.

"Bandits are coming!" – "Help us!" – "Protect us!" they screamed, when they saw the samurai.

Kuroi pushed in through the crowd, jumped onto the platform at the centre of the village, and shouted, "Where are they attacking from! Who saw them? Who raised the alarm?"

"They are not attacking. I sounded the alarm," Konata said. She was standing next to Kuroi, holding a mallet and a wooden pole. She hit the pole a couple of times and made the same banging noise they had heard earlier. All of sudden, everyone went silent. Just the cicadas song could be heard.

The awkward silence lasted for several seconds, until Kagami asked, "Why did you do that?"

"I was bored."

"That's not a valid reason!"

"Well, I got bored because there was nobody around. All these people were playing hide and seek and they had not invited me in!"

Most of the villagers looked rather embarrassed. One of the women said "S-sorry, samurai-_sama_, but we were not playing hide and seek … we were …"

"Yes?"

"We were …"

"Go on?"

"Ehh … we were playing hide and seek," she concluded, and blushed.

"There. Wasn't that hard to say, was it? Next time, invite me too!" Konata said, put the other things away, sat down, and grabbed her book again.

Most of the samurai started to laugh. Eventually, even Kagami, Minami, and Yutaka snickered.

Hiyori sat down, and started to draw hastily, looking at the seven samurai.

"What a silly village!" Kuroi said. "Why didn't you just invite the bandits to play hide and seek?"

After a moment, Miyuki said, "Sorry … but shouldn't we get serious? There's a lot to do, I'm afraid …"

"Yeah, you're right."

"Not yet! Bring _sake_! We must drink a welcome toast!" Konata said.

Several of the villagers rushed to get _sake_, embarrassed by the rude welcome they had given to their guests and hoping to compensate for it.

"Was that really necessary?" Kagami asked.

Konata stared at her with her emerald eyes for an uncomfortably long time. Kagami felt her cheeks starting to blush again.

"You live by your sword!" Konata concluded.

Kagami flinched and said, "Where did that came from?"

"See how I got them to bring us _sake_ for free. How would you have gotten _sake_?"

"Eh … I … I could have bought it."

"You call that free _sake_? Anyway, perhaps the two of us should become companions. With my wits and your sword skills, we would be unstoppable!"

Kuroi said, "Okay, okay. Stop messing with Kagami-san. You got the villagers on our side and _sake _for us. I guess you have earned your place. Yutaka?"

"_Hai!_ I … I did want her to come along, but I was afraid you would be insulted."

"It's a deal! Free food and lodging!" Konata shouted, and laughed heartily.

Kagami walked away, pretending to answer the nature's call. In truth, she was hiding her anguished thoughts. _"What she said is true. My sword is my life. There's nothing else I can do. And I hate it … I hate it! … I hate … myself._"

* * *

**Notes:**

Hmm – not much reviews, but that's what I expected; a concept like this probably scares readers away. (And it's during the week…) It's fine, though. This is for practice; I want to try many different types of stories. This doesn't come as spontaneously and naturally as the previous ones mostly did. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps. Certainly, this has less humor than Lucky Panic. Did that story have good humor then – I can't say.

What Konata shouted when she woke up hints that she has been involved in recent battles between Shimazu clan and Hideyoshi Toyotomi, successor of Nobunaga Oda.

"Not knowing is Buddha", _shiranu ga hotoke_, is a Japanese proverb. Ignorance is bliss, it's better not to know.

_Kuroda Bushi_ is a folk song from Kuroda in Fukuoka Prefecture, Kyūshū. It tells about a samurai who was challenged by his lord to drink for a prize of a precious spear. _"I will drink and drink this sake. If I drink, I will get the finest spear in the land of the rising sun. If I can drink enough to win this spear, then truly I will be a warrior of Kuroda."_


	4. Chapter 4

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき すた), chapter 4

**Spoilers** again, but – you have seen the movie, haven't you? Yojimbo98 was worried, because some of the samurai die in the movie. Well … that's a tough subject. No, I don't think this can't be written without _anyone_ dying. That would be beyond the suspension of belief. Let's just say it will end differently from the movie, but I don't want to give spoilers. If someone you like dies in the story, remember that in this a fantasy world where reincarnation is real and that she or he will be reborn, probably into a happier life.

* * *

At sunset, the samurai had settled in Kobayakawa house. "Sorry about this house. I know it is modest … I don't even have tatami on the floor," Yutaka said.

"Never mind that. None of the houses in your village has real floors, isn't it so?" Kuroi asked.

"Yeah, well … the bandits burned down Takara's old house. That would have been more suitable residence for samurai. It had tatami and everything."

"Where are you going to sleep?" Minami asked. Everyone turned to look at her.

"Wow! You just talked more than you've talked during all these days!" Konata exclaimed, looking at Minami, then Yutaka, then back to Minami.

Taking a nervous look at Konata, Yutaka answered, "Eh … I sleep in the stables."

"Among the horses? We couldn't let you do that!" Miyuki said.

"It's okay. The bandits took all the horses long ago."

Konata noticed some clothes hanging on the corner. There was a divided _hakama_ and a dark men's kimono. She took the _hakama_ and turned it in her hands.

"It's okay to sleep in a stable when you got your man to keep you warm," Konata said.

Yutaka jumped up and yelled, "I don't have a man! Do you think this house would be in this bad shape if I had a man home to take care for it?"

"Are these for cosplay then?" Everyone took a puzzled look at Konata.

Yutaka dashed forward, snatched the clothes from Konata, and ran out of the door.

Kagami stood up, walked to Konata, and said, "Nobody even knows what you're talking about. Stop upsetting our host."

"Cosplay is all the rage in Edo these days."

"You sure are weird. Have you been like that all your life? Or have you taken a hit on the head or something?" Kagami asked.

"No … I don't think so …" Konata muttered, looking thoughtful.

Suddenly, Tsukasa popped up from behind Konata, where she had sneaked up to, and clobbered her on the head with a stick. "Waah!" Konata cried, stumbled down on her knees, and held her head with both hands. _"Itai! Itai!"_ she screamed.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" Kagami yelled at Tsukasa.

"Sorry … but you talked about being hit on the head, and it reminded me … she had not been tested yet! I missed her the last time, so that doesn't count."

"You are as weird as her!"

Kuroi-sensei laughed mercilessly. "Tsukasa-kun, don't go testing people from now on unless I ask you to do it."

Seeing Konata in pain made Kagami feel an unexpected sting in her heart, and she thought, _"Why do I care about her? Does she remind me of someone…?"_ She knelt down, gently moved Konata's hand away and explored her head with her fingers. "You will get a bump, but it doesn't look too serious," she said.

With tears of pain in her emerald eyes, Konata raised her head and started directly at Kagami.

Still holding her fingers against Konata's head, Kagami felt a long scar running along the left side of her head, under the mass of blue hair. _"So she has been hit on the head!"_ she thought.

Feeling embarrassed all of a sudden, Kagami jerked her hand away, stood up, and walked back to her place near the fireplace. "Tsukasa-san, from now on, hit bandits and not one of us."

"Kagami, I'm glad you acknowledge me as one of us!" Konata said, as she got up. She was still rubbing her head, but seemed to recover quickly.

* * *

Next morning, Kuroi, Tsukasa, Minami and Yui took a long tour around the village, checking the surrounding areas and attack routes. The men of the village peeked at them from the houses, but generally they tried to avoid the samurai. Most of the women had gathered at the centre of the village to begin their practice under Kagami's guidance, a task she had volunteered for. She had told the others that she had "army experience" but didn't elaborate.

"It's no good. They can attack this place from nearly any direction," Yui said.

"Yutaka-san said they can flood the fields soon, after the harvest. But even that doesn't necessarily stop mounted bandits," Kuroi added.

"But it's dangerous to the horses. I know, I have lost two horses on fields. One wrong step and they break a leg."

"So, if we build fences elsewhere, and strong barriers on this side, and leave road open …"

"They will attack through the gap. At first."

"We let some of them through and deal with them."

"They won't keep that up for long if they realize what's going on."

"So, we need to set up another gap, a place where our defense looks weak, and let more of them break through."

Tsukasa missed most of the subtleties of this tactical conversation and started to feel bored. For a while, she watched how the village women trained.

They had prepared bamboo spears for everyone. So far, Kagami had taught them to make a line and how to set spears against charging horses. Konata had been sitting nearby and watching the progress, and making Kagami uneasy by her presence. As a result, she scared the villagers by yelling at them and snapping at those who didn't move fast enough.

"This is no good … we don't have any horses to train with. Most of them will probably panic when they really face a charging horse," she mumbled.

"Of course you are afraid of the bandits! That's only natural. But they are afraid of you too …"

* * *

Tsukasa had walked outside the village, and was climbing the hillside. She found a meadow where all kinds of flowers were blooming in the sunshine. Bees were collecting nectar and making her feel sleepy with their buzzing sound. Tsukasa picked up a few flowers and smelled them, and then lied down under the shadow of a tree and dozed off.

Suddenly, she woke up to a sound of a dry branch being snapped. She peeked from behind the tree to the direction of the sound. She saw a woman with long, black hair, dressed in traditional _yukata_, picking flowers. Quietly, she got up and sneaked towards the woman in a stooped position.

"Who are you?" Tsukasa asked. "Are you from the village?"

The woman flinched and turned around, covered her face with her other hand, and nodded as an answer to the question. Tsukasa had time to see that she looked quite pretty and had brown eyes. The woman took several steps backwards.

"You should be training with the others! Why are you here, picking flowers?" Tsukasa yelled. Then she remembered the bundle she was carrying herself and quickly threw it away.

The woman turned around and started to run away. Tsukasa ran after her.

They raced down the hillside, until the chased woman stumbled and fell. Tsukasa jumped on her and started to wrestle her down. At some point, she grasped the woman's hair, and all of it came off. It was just a wig made of blond hair. When the wig was removed, Tsukasa saw a young, handsome boy, with brown hair and eyes wide open in fear.

Tsukasa crawled several yards away and stood down, out of breath from the chase and their struggle. The boy took the wig and tried to fit it back onto his head, without much success. Eventually, he stopped, squeezed the wig in his hands, and started to cry quietly.

"Sorry … I'm sorry," Tsukasa said. "But why were you disguised as a woman? What's your name?"

"Mi – Mi – Minoru …" the boy whispered. Then he jumped up and started to run away, towards the village, as fast as he could.

Tsukasa didn't follow; she just looked after him as long as he could be seen, then laid down on the grass again, and stayed there for a good while, with a dreamy look in her eyes. _"Mi – Mi – Minoru …"_

* * *

"Kobayakawa-san, Takara-san, we need to build strong barricades here and bamboo fences all around the other areas," Kuroi explained. They were standing at the place where the road entered the village.

"That's a lot of work … and harvest is coming up too."

"And that's not all ... but let's talk at the mill. I have to speak with Tamura-san as well."

Kuroi, Yui and the village leaders walked to the mill. Tamura-san was busy drawing. "Just a minute, let me finish this part."

"We need to build barricades and fences. I know it's a lot of work, but if we don't do that, we don't stand a chance," Kuroi said. "But there's more," she continued. "Those three houses there on the other side of the stream … and this place ... We won't be able to protect these. They have to be emptied."

The villagers gasped.

"I know how you feel," Kuroi said quietly. "I have experienced the same … except that my house was not emptied before it was ransacked and burned down. Trust me; it's better to evacuate."

"Okay!" Tamura-san said.

"What? I thought you would be really stubborn and refuse to leave this place?" Yui said.

"Why would I do that? That would just be silly."

"Indeed."

An annoyingly cheerful voice was heard from the door. "Oi! What's going on in here? Why so serious?" The farmers flinched.

Kuroi glared at Konata. "What are you doing here?"

"Nobody told me what to do, so I got bored. And all the villagers are twitchy and nervous. When they see any samurai, they twitch. Like those two just did," she said, pointing at Yutaka and Yukari. "Twitch! Gasp! Flinch! Eek! And all the boys are hiding."

Hiyori snickered. "They are afraid. They are always afraid of everything. Of taxes, draughts, diseases, floods, earthquakes, bandits. They are afraid of samurai too. They fear that you will seduce their boys and men, that's why they have ordered them to hide."

Konata snickered. "Okay, since you are so honest, I can tell you something in return. You don't need to worry about me, at least. I'm not interested in boys that way. What comes to the others …" – Konata started to count with her fingers as she analyzed the other samurai – "… I'd say, Kagami is too inhibited … Kuroi and Yui won't care about country boys … Miyuki is far too nice to even try anything. So you only need to worry about Tsukasa and Minami …" Konata grinned. "… and Minami seems only to be interested in you!" she concluded, pointing at Yutaka.

Yutaka blushed and cleared her throat. "I … I go and get some people tostart working on the barricades …" she said, turned, and ran outside. Minami just stood still, and didn't say anything. Only a slight blush on her cheeks showed that she was not as indifferent as she tried to look like.

"Hey! Stop!" Hiyori said. "Ah well. I'll ask her later. But you have to repeat that, I didn't have time to write it down. Konata – doesn't fancy boys! Wow! Kagami – inhibited, Kuroi and Yui – got them, and next …? Girl, this is going to be the best _shunga_ ever! Or a light novel? Should I write a light novel, what do you think?"

Konata's face lit up. "Hey! Nobody told me you are in the circles! Have you seen this one yet?" she said, fished out a book from her bag and showed it to Hiyori.

"If anyone could kill bandits with weirdness, it's you two," Kuroi said and laughed. "Konata, come with us. I'll make sure you won't be bored anymore."

"No! I'm not bored! I didn't know that Takara-san was an artist! Let me stay here!"

"You got to earn your rice," Kuroi said, grabbed Konata's _ahoge_ and dragged her along.

* * *

"I can't understand why did Kuroi-sensei made you to help with the training?" Kagami said. "Do you have any skills whatsoever? Who was your strategy teacher?"

"I am self-taught."

"That's just ridiculous. Nobody can learn strategy alone!"

"Well … I had a lot of enemies who taught me."

Kagami took a long look at Konata. "Actually … that almost made sense. An enemy is the best teacher. If you can survive that sort of teaching. But I'm not convinced. Can you show me what you can do?"

"Sure!" Konata picked up a blunt bamboo spear. "You there!" she looked at the peasant women, holding practice spears. "Attack me."

The women had a puzzled look on their face. "Excuse me, Izumi-_sama_, but which one of us do you mean…?" one of them asked.

"All of you! Attack me at once. And be serious about it."

The women scratched their heads, pretended not to hear or understand, or tried to casually walk away.

"Kagami, order them to attack …"

"Right. Attention! Encircle her! Now!" Kagami shouted in her commanding voice.

Reluctantly, the women walked around Konata, until they had completely encircled her.

"Ready spears!" Kagami shouted. "Attack!"

Immediately, and before the women had time to really do anything, Konata started to twirl around, swinging her bamboo wildly and hitting anyone who came near. She used both hands, and then just one hand, swung it above her head and sideways, stabbed and swept, and changed the weapon from one hand to another. Had this been a sharp spear, many of her opponents had been dead or wounded quickly. Even the light and blunt practice spear gave nasty bruises to those who got in its way. Their superior numbers worked against them, making them bump into each other and hindering each others' attacks. Soon, all the opponents were either struck down or had fled.

Kagami was impressed, but tried not to show it. "That was too easy. These are practically untrained opponents. That tactic doesn't work against trained infantry."

"Yes, it does."

"How would you know?"

"I have used it."

"Okay, okay. I'm not going to argue about that. But that won't be very useful against the bandits. They are all mounted."

* * *

The next day, it was raining, and training was suspended for the day. Everyone was taking care of their equipment, or resting and relaxing. Miyuki had acquired a large piece of cloth, hemmed it, and was now scraping an ink stone, preparing to paint something.

"What's that?" Konata asked.

"We are making a flag. Miyuki-san will paint seven stars on it, one star representing each of us," Kuroi explained.

Konata snickered. "Like the Seven Stars of the North! I must be _Megurezu_ then!"

The others looked at her dumbfounded.

"It's the name of one of those stars. Didn't you know?"

"No." – "Never heard of that." – "Why is it called that?"

"It's a _gaijin_ name. _Megurezu. Rezu!_ Don't you get it?"

Nobody seemed to. Konata sighed.

"Anyway, I will also paint _ta_, field, meaning the village," Miyuki said.

* * *

During lunch, Tsukasa secretly emptied her rice bowl into a box and wrapped it into cloth. "I'm … going to get some fresh air!" she announced, and dashed outside.

"What's up with her?" Kagami wondered.

"It involves a boy! It must be that!" Konata said. "Come on, let's follow her," she added, grabbed Kagami's hand and started to drag her outside.

"Why me? I don't want to go. Besides, it's raining."

Kuroi said, "Hey, that's a good idea. You two, go and see if she's all right."

Konata and Kagami sneaked behind Tsukasa, and peeked from around a corner. They saw her entering a storage shed. "I can't see from here. Is there someone else in there? Let's sneak closer," Konata whispered. "But I don't want to," Kagami complained. "Ssh! We must see if she's meeting a boy."

Konata dragged Kagami along, while she sneaked closer. They heard Tsukasa's voice. "I tasted that stuff you eat. It was awful. Here, take this rice and eat it."

"Th-thank you very much …" another voice answered.

"Go on. Or do you want to eat alone? I can go away."

"It's not that. I … I want to give this rice to grandpa Kyumon."

"Oh. Okay. I gave it to you and you can decide what to do with it, but … are you going to be okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I'll walk you to this Kyumon's house."

"Thank you very much."

Kagami and Konata saw Tsukasa coming out of the shed, followed by a woman with blond hair.

"Darn! It's a girl! And I was so sure about it!" Konata yelled, startling Tsukasa and the girl following her.

"Wh – what?" Tsukasa stuttered and blushed.

"You made me lose a bet!" Konata said, pointing at Tsukasa.

"What are you talking about now?" Kagami asked in a weary voice.

"I made a bet with Hiyori – Tamura-san, that is, that Tsukasa would pick up a country boy. And now she picked up a girl. Actually … does that mean I lost the bet? We were not exactly betting on the gender, just that she would pick up one. What do you think, Kagami? Did I win?"

"Never mind that! Tsukasa-san, what's going on? Who's this girl?"

"I'm sorry, samurai­-_sama_, but I … I am not a girl … I'm Minoru," the blond girl – also blushing brightly – said.

"Yes!" Konata shouted and started to bounce around. "I win! I win!"

Ignoring Konata, Kagami asked, "And who's this grandpa Kyumon you mentioned?"

"Oh. So you heard us …" Tsukasa said.

"You'd better explain this to Kuroi-sensei."

They went back to Kobayakawa house and explained what was going on. Kuroi and most of the others followed them to Kyumon's old, ramshackle, one-room hut. An old, wrinkled man was sitting on the ground, wrapped in rags, trying to keep himself warm.

"My daughters and granddaughters are all dead. The bandits took my sons as playthings … and even my man, although he was old, pockmarked and had hemorrhoids … I'm all alone in this world. Yet, I'm afraid to go. Perhaps things will be even worse in the afterlife…"

"How awful … it is to have hemorrhoids," Konata said.

Others glared at her. "That was most inappropriate," Kuroi said. "Why did _that_ part stuck in your mind?" Kagami asked.

"I just wanted to say something nice instead of any of the hemorrhoid jokes that immediately filled my mind!" Konata said.

"Okay, okay. Eat the rice, old man. Perhaps you will feel better when we get rid of the bandits," Kuroi said.

"Excuse me, but … should we give away all the rice we don't need ourselves? I bet there are other poor people like Kyumon-san here. And the children … I can survive with half servings," Miyuki said.

Konata stared intensely at Kagami. A virtual sweat drop appeared on Kagami's head. "What now?" she snapped.

"You sure don't have any problems eating your whole portion," Konata said.

"Shut up!"

Starting from next day, the samurai asked all the children to gather at Kobayakawa house.

"Here's all the rice we can spare. We can't give you more, because we would … become stunted like her," Kagami said, pointing at Konata.

"Hey! I'm not a dwarf! I … I just have small bones!" Konata complained. The children laughed – especially those children who were already taller than Konata.

* * *

During the following days, Kagami and Konata handled most of the training, while the others assisted with building of the barricades, fences, guard shifts and patrolling on the surrounding areas.

"When can you harvest?" Kuroi asked.

"In ten days – but if we must, we can begin in three days," Yutaka answered.

"It will take at least one day to flood the fields," Yukari added.

"Very well. From now on, we train and work in groups. Nobody should be alone."

Tirelessly, Kuroi drove on, encouraging everyone to work hard. Eventually, a jungle of sharp bamboo and barricades made of logs surrounded the entire village.

* * *

This chapter took ages to write. I had to rewrite it two or five times. In the movie, farmers had been killing samurai and taken their arms and armor, but that just didn't work for this story. And the humor genre is always troublesome – I don't want just to borrow the humor from the movie.

This will also become long, I think. About half of the movie is covered now (up to the intermission!), but more things start to happen, and more things will need to be written. I try to get at least 3,000 words per chapter before publishing.

Again, there's a Monty Python reference. I think I have had at least one in each story (except in _Ahoge_ – I think?). Some of the combat scenes will be influenced by Eiji Yoshikawa's Musashi, like Konata's spear tactic.

Useless trivia: the symbol on their flag is katakana た, _ta, _and _ta_ means field.

More useless trivia: The Seven Stars of the North is the Big Dipper. Name of δ UMa, Megrez (arabic **مغرز**) would have been very obscure knowledge in 16th-century Japan, but who cares, because _Megurezu_ is a funny name.


	5. Chapter 5

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき すた), chapter 5

I don't want to spoil the ending, but I can say that this story will have less killing than the movie. So, no need to worry – too much. (Evil grin.)

* * *

Four of the samurai, namely Kagami, Konata, Tsukasa, and Miyuki, were on the fields, guarding the farmers harvesting barley.

"Barley … what is it used for?" Konata asked.

"How would I know? It's men's job to care about such things," Kagami said.

"Hmm … Kagami-san, haven't you ever drunk _muchiga_?" Tsukasa said.

"Oh, sure. Is that made of barley?"

Konata giggled. "Kagami, it's called barley tea! What would it be made of? Rice?"

"Barley tea makes my stomach upset …" Tsukasa muttered.

Kagami defended herself, "You never know what some food or drink is, because they are often given the strangest names. Like _kappamaki_, which I heard contains cucumber, or _kitsune udon_, which doesn't contain any fox meat! Anyway, why should I know? It's still men's job."

"I actually cook myself too," Miyuki said. "Didn't you know that the best mistress chefs are usually women? It is said men, although they can cook, naturally, can't really reach the highest levels of refinement and skill that women can."

"My motto is; as long as it doesn't bite back, it's edible," Konata said. "Or if it doesn't bite back too much ..."

"Kagami-san, beer is made of barley, _miso_ contains barley, and those who cannot afford rice add barley to it or eat it instead of rice; and you can make porridge or bread out of it – " Miyuki explained.

"Okay, okay. I get it. Actually … I have never really seen farmers at work. It seems to be very hard work."

"Our pampered, rich samurai has led a sheltered life!" Konata said. "Always dressing in the finest silk, having a nice bath every evening, eating the purest and best foods ... mmm … perhaps that's why your hands and skin are so smooth!" she continued, giving Kagami a feeling that she was being undressed by Konata's emerald eyes.

"That became really weird at some point. And stop staring at me like that!" Kagami said.

"Oh! Kagami-san, you were not present at the time. Konata said to Tamura-san, the she is not …"

"Ssh! Miyuki, please, don't make her even more embarrassed," Konata interrupted.

"What? What? If it has something to do with me, I want to know it."

"I'm sorry, Kagami-san, but it _is_ a bit embarrassing …" Miyuki said. "Let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Well … what the heck, it's no secret. I just said that I'm a fairy lady," Konata said.

"You are what lady?"

"I'm a queen."

"What, not the empress?"

"A wolf. A crested hen."

Miyuki started to giggle. Tsukasa looked completely dumbfounded.

"I'm on a way of young women. I got the female colors. Lily. A pot. Attacker. Or receiver, if you like."

Both Kagami and Tsukasa just looked more dumbfounded.

"Bah. You are so weird that I can't understand half of what you are saying," Kagami said, and walked off.

A few farmers glared at the samurai girls.

"Harvest and threshing are almost complete, and there's no sign of bandits. They aren't coming," one of them said. "Why we have to keep feeding these greedy samurai and train every day under that scary pigtailed one?"

"I'm not so sure …" another villager said. "The bandits came last year and the year before that. Why wouldn't they come this year?"

* * *

Kuroi opened her eyes. It was about midnight. She got up and asked Yui, "Should we go?"

"Yeah. Should we take the kid with us?" Yui asked, referring to Tsukasa.

"Nah, let her sleep."

"Where should we start?"

"At our weakest point."

They walked through the village and up to Konata's guard post. She was apparently asleep, warmed by a large bonfire, and lying comfortably atop a pile of branches and twigs used as firewood. Her sword was lying beside her. Kuroi and Yui sneaked forward. Just as Yui was about to grab Konata's sword sheath, Konata sprung into action, drew her sword lightning-fast, swung the blade but stopped it just before hitting Yui's neck. "You thought I was asleep?"

"You were asleep! If we had been bandits, you would be dead."

"I always wake up if someone tries to ambush me."

"I don't believe that," Kuroi said. "Stay awake and guard."

Konata grumbled and muttered something, but stood up and stayed that way, at least until Kuroi and Yui were gone, continuing their round.

"Did you believe her?" Kuroi asked.

"I'm not sure. But I think I know how she sensed me. She had spread her hair around herself and I stepped on a wisp of it."

"That's … quite extraordinary. But anyone could have just shot her from a distance."

"Maybe we should try that the next night," Yui said and grinned.

* * *

Tsukasa and Minoru were running on the forest meadows and laughing. Sun was shining, and flowers bloomed everywhere. Out of breath, they lied down on the soft grass under the trees.

"I wish I had born into a samurai family," Minoru said.

"I understand. I was lucky in this life. The life of a farmer is hard."

"I mean, that you are a samurai's daughter and I'm just a farmer's son. A male…"

"Minoru …"

"It's just …" Minoru moved closer and stared at Tsukasa's eyes from a close distance.

Tsukasa just stared back and did nothing. Minoru lied down on his back and waited.

As nothing still happened, Minoru put his hands on her face and shouted, "You are not a real samurai!"

"What … what do you mean?" Tsukasa gasped.

"A woman should take the lead! A woman should know what to do!" Minoru said in a tearful voice.

"I don't understand!"

Before she could get any more answers, they heard a horse neighing nearby. Both froze and listened. Nothing more could be heard. They got up and started to sneak up the hillside. From behind the thickets, they could see three saddled horses. Nobody seemed to be around. They sneaked away, and then ran, taking a wide detour around the horses, towards the village.

"Three horses on the hills!" Tsukasa gasped, when she got back to Kuroi-sensei.

"We know. Miyuki-san, go tell the villagers to calm down and to keep quiet. Be _moe_ when you do that. There are only three bandits."

Yukata rushed in. "They are coming. They are soon near the western barricades."

"Let's go! And keep quiet," Kuroi said.

The samurai entered one of the houses. The boys and men inside were startled, but Kuroi hissed, "Keep quiet!"

They walked quietly to the window opening to the west and peeked out. Three bandits were standing there and looking at the barricade with their mouths open.

"Just scouts. Kagami, Konata, Tsukasa," Kuroi whispered. "Go to their horses, quickly, and ambush them if they try to get away. And Tsukasa; observe, but don't join in the fight."

"_Hai!"_ they whispered and dashed out.

Meanwhile, Minami had readied her bow and was aiming through the window. "Sensei," she whispered. "Should I try taking one of them out?"

"Yes. Try to keep her alive, if possible," Kuroi whispered.

Minami aimed carefully, standing perfectly still for two seconds, her eyes half-closed. It seemed as if she had entered a deep meditative state. Then she let the arrow fly. It zipped through a hole in the barricade and through the thicket, without hitting anything on its way, and sank into the lower back area of one of the bandits, almost sixty yards away. The bandit screamed and fell. "Amazing!" Yui gasped.

"She'll live, but she won't be walking," Minami said.

The other two bandits didn't stop to help their comrade, but ran away as fast as they could.

"Wow! I didn't know you were such a mistress of the longbow," Kuroi said.

"No, I am not … I'm just a student. A girl of my age can't possibly be a mistress. That was a simple target, not one with warrior spirit. She must have stepped onto the way of the arrow herself, I didn't hit her."

Kuroi laughed. "Yeah, I know. You zen-tao-whatever-kind of people must talk that way or you lose your amazing powers."

Minami blushed. "By all means, do that if it tickles your fancy," Kuroi continued. "It's cute too!"

* * *

The three samurai had arrived to the bandits' horses. Tsukasa hid herself into the thicket. Kagami looked at Konata and then glanced at a tree nearby. Konata jumped up to the lowest branch, threw one leg above it and swiftly pulled herself up. Kagami went behind the tree just as two winded bandits could be heard approaching.

The first bandit got to her horse, but Kagami stepped into view, and she yelped in surprise, took a reflective step back and almost fell. At the same moment, Konata dropped on top of the second bandit, wrapped her legs around her neck, and dropped her body backwards, making the bandit to do a somersault in the air and almost breaking her neck in the process. Konata come down on her feet and already had her sword out, pointed at the bandit. But she was already knocked out.

The bandit facing Kagami fumbled to find her sword handle. Kagami stepped forward and made a lightning-fast sweep at the bandit, who at first thought she had been cut into half – but then her pants, split in half, dropped down, along with her sword and belt. The bandit froze and raised her hands. "I - I surrender!" she stuttered.

"Tsukasa, come out and tie their hands behind their backs. Here, take these leather straps and use her belt too."

As Tsukasa was doing as she had been told, Kagami eyed Konata. Then she actually smiled. "Little tree-monkey …" – _"Shimatta! I said that aloud!"_

Konata just snickered and said, "But I was born in the year of the Monkey! I bet you were born … in the year of the Dragon! Because you are scary! A _tsundere_! You kind of resemble a fire-breathing dragon."

Kagami blushed. "I … yes, I was born in the year of the Dragon, okay! But I'm not a monster!" … _"Not a monster … I'm not a monster!"_ she thought.

Her blush faded and changed into paleness. She frowned, and swiftly turned around, trying to hide her tears. _"Thank Goddess I didn't strike to kill … I almost did. Blood and gore …"_

"Kagami, what's wrong?" Konata asked.

"Nothing! Nothing! I … I check that there aren't any more around. Put those bandits on the horses and get to the village!" she shouted, and ran away.

* * *

Most of the villagers had gathered to the centre, when the captured bandits and their horses were brought in. The bandit with an arrow sticking out from her behind was carried on a stretcher. The samurai had their hands full with preventing the villagers from beating up the captives.

Farmers let out roars of hatred and all sorts of insults and threats. "Let's sew their private parts shut! That'll teach 'em to abuse our boys!" – "Let's burn them like they burned Takara's house!" – "Burning is far too quick! Let's make 'em suffer!" – "Crucify them!"

"Stop! These are prisoners! It's not up to us to punish them! They must be delivered to authorities!" Kuroi yelled, but to no avail.

Kagami heard all sorts of cruelties being suggested. She had seen many of the things they were yelling to really happen, and each shout brought a memory that felt like a stab in her heart. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She drew her sword and charged the villagers, who stumbled backwards. Kagami was angrier than ever, and shouted at the top of her lungs, "STOP IT! BE QUIET!" It was so loud that Konata and a few others covered their ears. Kagami was deadly pale, shaking, and her eyes burned. Even the sword blade she held was trembling. Villagers took several steps away from her, for it looked like she would kill anyone approaching. After a few seconds of silence, Konata walked to her and gently touched her hand. "Kagami, calm down … please. I am worried about you …" she whispered.

The crowd parted, as Hiyori approached. Grandpa Kyumon was leaning onto her arm. She helped the old man to the bandits, who were lying on the ground and begging for their lives.

Kyumon looked at each of the bandits in turn. Then he spat on them, and spoke. "Too bad. I don't recognize any of these. If I had … I don't know what I would have done. But seeing them, squirming on the ground like that … Yes. Let the authorities have them. If we kill them now, we are as bad as the bandits."

The villagers, now all quiet, turned, one by one, and walked away.

Konata approached them. "Oi! Where's your hideout? If you don't tell me, I let her to question you!" she said, pointing at Kagami, who was still standing next to them, with a sword in her trembling hand.

"No! Please don't! Anything but that!" the bandits begged.

"Wh – what…" Kagami stuttered.

"We'll tell you anything!" – "Our hideout is to the east, go through the pass northeast and follow the stream on your right." – "You can't miss it!" – "It's about half a day's ride!" the bandits said.

"Hey! I wasn't going to do anything … I was protecting you!" Kagami protested.

"Ssh! Don't spoil it," Konata said. "You are so good at looking scary."

"Yutaka, take a few others with you, and put these into the pit. Build a wooden cover for it, but also arrange a constant guard," Kuroi said. Yutaka bowed and went to get some villagers.

"If we leave late this evening, we can hit them at dawn. Let's try to eliminate as many of them as we can, and then retreat before they have time to counterattack. Who's coming with me?" Kuroi asked.

"Me! Me!" Konata yelled. "I will …" Kagami said.

By this time, Yutaka had returned and the others were dragging the captives away. "I need to come with you. You don't know the region like I do."

"Okay. Kagami-san and Konata-san, you can share a horse? Konata-san is so light."

"Oh yeah! I'd love to!" Konata yelled. "How did you manage to make that sound like … I don't know. All right then," Kagami said. "Although … I haven't ridden a horse before. I'm too short for that. I have only ridden ponies and cows. I'd better hold tight on you so that I don't fall off!" Konata continued, her eyes shining like stars. Kagami took another suspicious look at her.

"Minami? Could you come with us – you can back us up with your bow? You can share a horse with Yutaka."

"Oh … okay," Minami said quietly.

"Oh yeah! I don't want to miss this!" Hiyori yelled.

Everyone, except Konata, looked at her dumbfounded.

"You can't come with us. My horse can't carry both of us," Kuroi said.

"No, I didn't mean that. I want to see you leave! You two … and you two, sharing a horse! What a scene!"

Kagami glared at Hiyori. "You are as weird as Konata …"

Later that evening, they packed their things. Kagami mounted her horse and hoisted Konata up into the saddle. "Hey! I don't want to sit behind you! I can't see ahead. Let me sit in front of you! You can easily see over my head," Konata said, and started to climb over Kagami. "Hey! Don't grab me there! Stop moving! Pthooie! Your hair got into my mouth!" Finally, they were settled upon the saddle, Konata in front of Kagami, who was blushing brightly. It took a while for her to get accustomed. _"She's so small … like a child … and her hair smells nice…"_ she thought, and tried to resist herself getting closer against Konata. _"What am I doing? And I don't like the way that … artist looks at me!"_ Kagami glared at Hiyori.

Minami had also hoisted Yutaka to the saddle in front of her, making another rather similar scene available to Hiyori's leering eyes.

"Ready? Let's go!" Kuroi said, and spurred her horse.

With Minami and Yutaka taking the lead, they rode through the night. Half moon gave them barely enough illumination. Yutaka was familiar with the area, up until the stream that entered another forest. "I haven't been here before … we'd better slow down."

"Fine. There's still a couple of hours till dawn, so we can take our time."

They rode forward, slowly, and stopped often to listen and watch. "I see some light ahead," Konata whispered. "Yeah … and there's a smell of smoke. It's the hideout. We'd better leave the horses here."

"Kagami … could you lower me down. It's such a long way down," Konata said.

Kagami eyed her suspiciously. _"Didn't she jump off a tree branch three times higher than this horse?"_ she thought. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around Konata. Before she had time to lift her, Konata immediately grasped her hands and leaned backwards, pressing herself against Kagami. She turned slightly sideways and looked Kagami into the eyes over her shoulder. Then she leaned even further back and tilted her head, exposing her neck to Kagami, and closed her eyes. Kuroi took a look at them both and snickered. "Hey, this is not the time for such activities," she whispered. Kagami was again bright red, yet she was unable to resist or to say anything. She had to fight a sudden urge to kiss Konata's neck. Finally, she managed to speak, "Stop … stop that! Let go of my hands! Get off this horse!" Kagami jerked her hands free and pushed Konata. She threw her other leg over the saddle, and landed easily and softly on her feet. "Stop fooling around! We are about to attack our enemies. This is not a game!" Kagami scolded her, while she started to dismount. "Of course it's a game. You got to take everything in life as a game!" Konata said. "No, we don't, and stop being childish," Kagami said.

After dismounting, they sneaked through the forest. Sun was rising, and the higher peaks were already bathing in the morning sunlight. Due to the increasing light, they could see the bandit hideout – or at least most of it. There was a large wooden building with a steep saddle roof. A single guard was outside, leaning against a pile of firewood and dozing off.

"Minami, ready your bow and shoot her if she wakes up. You need to silence her, so I'm afraid you have to aim to kill. We try to sneak there and set fire to that building. Yutaka, stay with Minami," Kuroi whispered.

Kuroi, Kagami, and Konata sneaked forward. They got to the guard without her waking up. Konata took the oil lamp that was on the ground beside the guard and went ahead. Kagami drew her sword and knocked the sleeping guard out with the flat of the blade.

Kuroi and Kagami stood beside the doorway, as Konata poured oil on the sides of the building, and set it ablaze.

Quickly, shouts and sound could be heard from the inside. The door was flung to the side, and half-dressed bandits poured out. Kuroi hacked at the first two ruthlessly, aiming to kill. Kagami gritted her teeth and struck the panicked bandits' legs, trying to cause serious but non-fatal injuries. Even this made her stomach turn. _"I … must … if I don't do this, good people will die instead of them … I hate this …"_

After about ten more bandits had been eliminated, they heard sound from the back of the building and from further away. "This is only one of their lodgings! Retreat! We have done enough!" Kuroi shouted.

As they ran away from the door, more people ran out and escaped. Last, a young-looking man staggered out. Yutaka shouted, "_Oniisan!"_ and dashed forward. The young man's eyed widened. She took a horrified look at Yutaka, and ran back inside the flaming building. Yutaka screamed and tried to follow, but had to step back due the heat. Minami dropped her bow, dashed forward and forcibly dragged Yutaka away. She struggled and resisted. Before they got back into the trees, a musket shot was heard, and Minami collapsed.

Yutaka screamed again, and started to drag Minami away. Kuroi ran forward and helped her. Kagami walked backwards after them, trying to see where the musket was and keeping an eye on anyone who might try to pursuit them. None of the bandits currently seemed to be too eager to follow them.

Kuroi, Yutaka and Minami had gotten away safely and Kagami was also now within the forest. Then, she saw a light-brown haired, blue-eyed bandit running towards her. She was holding a _kama_, sickle with a straight handle and a short blade. The weapon seemed a bit unusual, as there was a chain attached to it.

"What's this?" Kagami asked and readied herself.

The bandit threw the chain towards Kagami, who reflectively raised her _katana_ to block it. The chain, which ended in a small metal ball, coiled around the sword above its guard. "I am Ayano Minegishi! Tell the others in Hell who killed you," the bandit said, and pulled the chain tight. At the same time, Kagami drew her secondary weapon, _wakizashi_, experienced in losing or breaking her _katana_ in the chaotic battlefields.

Kagami couldn't free her long sword. Ayano pulled the chain towards her and advanced, holding the sickle in her other hand. Before Ayano had a chance to close the distance, Kagami let go of her _katana._ It was yanked through the air and landed behind Ayano. Instantly, Ayano started to rotate the chain. First, the ball end of the chain whirled through the air, barely missing Kagami, then the sickle, then the ball again. Kagami took a step back, and threw her short sword towards Ayano with full force.

Ayano managed to step aside from the way of the flying weapon, but in the process, she got entangled in her own chain weapon. At the same moment Kagami had thrown her sword, and before Ayano had any time to recover, Kagami smashed her chest with her left shoulder thrust out, knocking Ayano backwards and against a tree trunk, winding her. At the same time, Kagami grasped the handle of Ayano's short sword and drew it from the sheath. Kagami twisted the sword blade half a turn right, so that instead of the blade, the blunt spine slid up along Ayano's body. The sword handle and Kagami's fist smashed into Ayano's jaw heavily from below, and she was knocked out.

Panting heavily, Kagami took a step back and let Ayano's sword fall from her hand. _"I could have used a karataki cut … But I have never seen anyone using a kusari-gama! I didn't want to kill her … I don't want to kill … … … anyone … not anymore …"_ she thought. She had used the same trick in a battle, after losing her weapon, but at that time, she did it with the sharp edge. The memory made her feel sick, so sick that she gagged.

"Kagami? That was incredible … but why are you still standing there? We must go! Fast!" Konata yelled from behind a pile of armor and sword sheaths she was carrying. Kagami collected her swords as quickly as she could, being dazed and out of breath, and ran towards the horses.

Nobody seemed to pursuit them for now. They piled Konata's loot onto the same horse as Yutaka, Kuroi took the unconscious Minami onto her horse, and Konata leapt onto Kagami's horse.

* * *

A few minutes later, Misao, the bandit leader, accompanied by her musket-wielding lieutenant, came to check the damages. "Five dead, seven disabled ... and how's Ayano?"

One of the bandits had knelt beside the unconscious girl. "She's alive, but her jaw is broken. I can set the bones and bind them but she will be out of action for a few weeks."

"Darn!" Misao said. "How could she lose? Did anyone see what happened?"

"She snatched the sword of that violet-haired, pigtailed samurai, but they were behind the trees after that and I couldn't see what she did."

"That samurai! Patty-_chan_, if you see her, shoot her."

"I'm sure that I hit that tall samurai who had a bow. She fell down. Probably dead."

"Gather everyone. Those three horses were ours. The villagers have somehow eliminated our scouts. We will ride today and punish them!"

* * *

After a few western ones, Konata gives obscure and not-so-obscure Japanese slang words. _Seme_ = attacker, _uke _= receiver.

Humor is getting more and more problematic, as this is turning into a drama. (Like the movie does.) I don't want this to become completely silly either...

Oh, they did ride cows in medieval Japan. Not to combat :)


	6. Chapter 6

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき*すた), chapter 6

* * *

After riding fast half an hour, Kuroi finally stopped. They lifted Minami from the saddle and put her down onto the ground. Minami's shirt was soaked in blood. Yutaka knelt beside her, tears flowing from her eyes. "This is my fault … I can never forgive myself …"

Kuroi pressed her ear to Minami's chest. "Heartbeat … she's not dead yet," she said, and lifted her shirt. There was a wound on the lower part of her stomach. Carefully, Kuroi lifted her and examined her back. "There is no exit wound. The bullet must still be inside."

Kagami, shivering and pale, was standing beside them. _"I have seen wounds like this … too many times,"_ she thought. "I'm sorry, but that kind of wound is almost always fatal. If the bullet has pierced any of her guts, she will get a very high fever and … die. And it will be … painful," she said. Tears started to flow from Kagami's eyes. Embarrassed, she turned and walked away, shadowing her eyes with her palm and pretending to keep guard for bandits that might be following them. She twitched when Konata's emerald eyes, followed by the blue-haired girl herself, appeared and stared at her from close distance.

"_Deredere_ …" Konata whispered. "Why do you cry over samurai who die in battle? It's a glorious way to die, the best way a samurai can die."

"I never used to cry … I have seen that too many times. And I don't believe there's anything glorious in it, anymore. It's just a waste … wait a minute, why am I telling you this? Are you going to tease me later? Kagami, a cry-baby! How funny!"

"Kagami, I could never tease you about something like this …"

"So, what about you? Do you think Minami is now happy? She got wounded in battle and will probably die honorably."

"Well, yes and no … I mean, nothing wrong with that, it just hurts and it's kind of boring. 'cause, then you realize you didn't want to die after all. Because there were still things you wanted to do … people you had not met yet but wanted to know … places to see …" Konata mumbled, rubbing her head.

"I don't understand."

Konata turned her back at Kagami, and said softly, "It's a long story. I'll tell you about it later." – "Anyway, they seem to have patched her up, we got to go!"

* * *

"Oi! Oi! Bring a stretcher! Take Iwasaki-_sama_ to my house!" Yutaka shouted, as they were riding into the village.

"Kagami-san, Konata-san. You look tired. Should we cancel training for today?" Kuroi asked.

"No. But we shouldn't train too much. The bandits may come today."

"They will come," Kagami said. "To seek revenge."

Miyuki hurried outside. "What happened to Iwasaki-san? Is she okay?"

Nobody wanted to answer her at first. "She got shot … she's alive, but it doesn't look good," Kuroi said.

"Does anyone want armor or weapons? I looted some from the bandit's armory," Konata said, and threw a pile of metal onto the ground. She chose one helmet for herself and wore it.

"Kagami … this armor might fit you," Konata said, lifting a breastplate from the pile. "It's big enough for your … lungs!" she added.

"Wh-what do you mean … bah, never mind! Let me see it."

Kagami took the piece of armor and turned it in her hands. "This is high quality steel. So light ... I wonder where they stole it from. Okay, I'll try it. I won't stop a musket bullet, though."

Konata stood in front of Kagami and waited, looking at her. Kagami stared back, looking puzzled.

After a while, Kagami said, "What? … no, I'm not putting it on here, while everyone's watching!" and started to walk towards Kobayakawa's house.

"Lunch break!" Kuroi announced. "Don't eat too much and when you're done, gather here!"

Konata hurried after Kagami and managed to surprise her in the middle of changing.

"Oops, sorry!" Kagami said, but her apology didn't sound very sincere. "Is lunch ready?"

Blushing, Kagami quickly pulled an undershirt on and started to try on the armor.

"You did that on purpose! And no, lunch is not ready. Yutaka is busy with Minami-san behind there."

Konata went to the back room and found Yutaka and a village woman kneeling beside Minami, who had regained consciousness.

"Does it hurt?" Konata asked.

Yutaka glared at her. "Of course it hurts! Why do you ask such silly questions! … Konata-_s-sama_ …"

"Just call me Konata, it's okay."

"It … only hurts when I'm laughing," Minami said, and smiled weakly.

"Then it isn't too bad, since you never laugh," Konata said.

The village woman said, "I am the local healer. Sorry, samurai-ladies, but I have never seen bullet wounds, so I won't be of much assistance. Her heartbeat feels surprisingly healthy, though."

Konata had a thoughtful look on her face for a while. "Ah! Is she defecating or peeing blood, or is her stomach swollen and tight, or does she have a high fever?" she asked.

"No, none of that," the healer answered.

"Then she might survive. Give her a cup of tea," Konata suggested. "If she doesn't die when she drinks it, she'll live."

"How cruel!" Yutaka gasped.

"Those who didn't die when they drank something always survived."

"Might as well … try it," Minami whispered.

"And, Yutaka, cook our lunch while you're at it."

The healer said, "I'll make the tea, Kobayakawa-san can cook. Konata-san, how do you know so much about this?"

"Let's just say … I have seen many bullet wounds to the stomach … and elsewhere. Too many …"

* * *

Everyone had gathered to the center. The villagers seemed nervous. They had much trouble forming their columns, someone dropped her spear, and another stumbled. Finally, the three columns were in some sort of an order.

Konata walked to Kagami, eyed her armor – taking a special interest towards the chest region – and said loudly, "Looks good on you."

Everyone turned to look at Kagami, who started to blush.

"What? Don't say such things in public! Act appropriate!"

"Hmm … you want me to say things like that to you in private? It's a deal …"

"That's not what I meant!"

Kuroi laughed and said, "Konata, the villagers didn't get it. Let's find some other way to raise their spirits. Such as … a war shout! Kuroi's group! Attention! Raise your spears and shout after me, as loud as you can! Oi! Ooi! Oooooi!"

Kuroi's group shouted at the top of their lungs.

Kagami shouted, "My group! We can shout louder than that! Oi! Ooi! Oooooi!"

Kagami's group shouted as hard as they could, and it did sound somewhat louder than Kuroi's group.

Konata shouted, "My group! We won't lose to them! _Yaoi! Yaoi! Yaoooi!_"

"_Ya … oii!? __Yaoi! Yaoi!"_ her trainees shouted, but got confused about the word and some didn't get any sound out, while some started or ended their shout at the wrong time.

"Why did you shout _'yaoi'_?" Kagami asked.

"Because it's funny," Konata answered.

"Nobody even knows why it is supposed to be funny!" Kagami groaned.

"Hey! I remembered something. Miyuki, where's the flag?" Konata asked.

"Oh, that. It's inside."

"Miyuki-san, where did you get that bow?" Tsukasa asked.

"Iwasaki-san borrowed it to me. I used to practice with bow. I hope I can be of some assistance."

Konata, who had rushed into Kobayakawa house, quickly returned, waving the flag which had been attached into a bamboo stick. She climbed to the thatched roof of the tallest building in the village, continued all the way to the top, and plunged the flagpole into the roof. For a while, she strutted proudly beside flag, which fluttered in the wind. She started to bounce around, and shouted, "Look! There they come! Riding into their doom! Yahoo!"

Villagers panicked, and it took a lot of shouting and waving of swords at them by all the others to get some order. Konata bounced down the side of the roof, landed skillfully on her feet and ran towards the group she had been training with.

Atop the hills to the east, mounted bandits rode forth. To the farmers' eyes, there seemed to be a countless number of them, but in truth, there were barely forty.

"Kagami! Konata! They are coming along the road! Take your groups to the east side! Miyuki, go with them! Tsukasa, Yui, my group, you stay here. We are the reserve, and keep an eye for anyone trying to sneak in from another direction."

The samurai shouted their commands, and lead the farmers to the east. "Remember the muskets! Take cover in the ditches!" Kagami yelled.

The mass of mounted bandits stopped, as the road had been cut and flooded with water, and there was a tall barricade beyond the water. Horses neighed as they packed at the end of the road. It took for a while for the bandits to get into some kind of order and stop their horses.

Villagers and samurai peeking from the ditches saw a tanned bandit, with a half-moon decoration in her helmet, looking at the barricades with scorn. "Hah! The peasants have built a wall and now they are hiding and cowering in their dwellings. I'd rather have ridden in, but that thing looks easy to climb. Fuyuki, check how deep that water is."

One of the bandits jumped from her horse, drew her sword and waded through the water. "It's only waist deep!" she shouted. "I'll see if any of them are hiding behind this barricade!"

Miyuki had stood up and took careful aim with the bow. She let an arrow fly, it went between the logs, but brushed against one of them, which changed its course somewhat. The arrow plunged into the bandits' chest. She fell backwards into the water, and floated away. "Oh! Sorry! I didn't mean to kill her!" Miyuki said. "That was supposed to be just a warning shot …"

The bandit leader shouted a swear word, and ordered the others to retreat and regroup. "Let's also burn that mill and those houses over there!"

* * *

Tsukasa ran to Kuroi, who was at the center of the village, as fast as she could.

"They have split their forces. About twenty to the north, twenty to the south. Not sure where the muskets are."

"Hm. Konata, you take your group to the south side. Miyuki, go with her again," Kuroi said.

"_Hai!"_

* * *

At the southern barricade, Konata and the farmers placed a log to the outer side of the barricade.

"Here they come! You, get back in. I'll give them a reception!"

The bandits rode the path through the fields. Konata jumped from the ditch, puffed her chest, and marched along the path, towards the bandits, as if she was going to fight all of them herself. When she saw a flash and a puff of smoke, she jumped aside. A bullet whizzed through the air at the place she had been. The sound of a musket going off came only afterwards. Konata turned and ran, and jumped back into the ditch. Nimbly, she climbed the log and atop the barricade. There, she couldn't resist yelling at the bandits and wiggling her behind towards them. She jumped down from the barricade, just as another musket bang could be heard and a bullet snapped into the log she had been standing upon.

The farmers started to yell and wave their hands. The houses and mill outside the barricades were burning. Konata took a peek from behind the barricade and snorted. She picked up a stone and threw it towards the bandits – but it just splashed into the flooded field harmlessly.

The bandits stayed outside the range of bow for the rest of the day.

* * *

That night, Konata seemed to doze off, while most of the villagers in her group couldn't sleep. Everyone was startled as Konata jumped up and climbed the barricade, motioning the others to follow. Several bandits had sneaked over the ditch and were climbing the barricade.

"Alarm! Ready spears! Charge!" Konata shouted.

Konata dashed to the right and stabbed the first bandit in her lower back region as she tried to descend. The bandit yelled in pain and tried to climb back, but one of the villagers sank a bamboo spear into her leg. The bandit screamed in pain, lost her grip, and fell – but was left dangling on the barricade upside-down, her other leg stuck in between the logs.

"Take them alive if you can! Kill them if you must! Don't let them escape!"

Like a blue whirlwind, Konata danced through the panicking group of bandits, and smacked several of them with the flat of her sword blade. Villagers rushed in and pummeled them with the shafts of their spears. Miyuki was aiming her bow, but could not get a clear shot because the villagers were on the way.

Over a dozen bandits were climbing over the barricade, but, surprised to meet such organized resistance, most of them were already trying to flee. Their attack turned into a panicked rout.

Kuroi, Yui, Tsukasa, and several villagers armed with spears came running, just as the last bandits who didn't escape being beaten by the villagers.

"Good job!" Kuroi said. "How many did you get?"

Konata said, "Four dead, six captured, I think. We have no casualties – I smell gunpowder! Duck!"

Everyone threw themselves onto the ground or jumped into the ditches. Less than a second passed, and then the sound of a musket going off could be heard.

"Anybody hurt?" Konata asked.

Yukari Takara was writhing on the ground. "I'm hit! I'm hit! Get Minoru … get my son …"

Kuroi dragged her into safety. "Where are you hit?"

They saw a minor wound on Yukari's upper arm. "Silly woman, you're not going to die. That's barely a scratch."

Kuroi, Yui, and Tsukasa walked away.

"So … we eliminated at least ten bandits. They won't be trying that again. They will ride through the gap. At morning, probably. They are waiting there. Let's confirm it. Tsukasa-kun?"

"_Hai!"_

"Let's make a dummy. Get one of the light armor Konata brought, stuff it with rice straw, and stick a bamboo in it."

Tsukasa ran to Kobayakawa house, where the remaining armor was stored at. After preparing the dummy with Yutaka's assistance, she hurried outside, only to come across Minoru.

As Tsukasa stopped, Minoru said, "Dummy!"

"Yeah, well … we will check if the bandits will shoot at it," Tsukasa said.

"No! You!"

"What?"

Minoru turned and ran away.

"I don't understand men …" Tsukasa muttered, and went on.

"Good!" Kuroi said. "Take the dummy there and show it to them. Stay behind cover at all the time."

Tsukasa pushed the dummy into view from behind the barricade. One, then another musket bang was heard, and the dummy took a hit. Tsukasa made the dummy fall, then dashed back, dragging it behind her.

Yui said, "I'm worried about those muskets. Can we do something about it?"

Kagami stood up and said, "I will go," and dashed into the forest.

"Wait! Kagami!" Konata whispered, but Kagami had already disappeared into the darkness. "I wanted to go with you …"

* * *

They waited for many hours. As darkness gave way to twilight, mist crept in and covered everything in its gray cloak.

Konata jumped up several times, making the others twitch. Each time, she listened and stared into the mist intensely, and each time she sat down and sighed. "I shouldn't have let her go by herself … she's probably lonely …" she whispered.

"Kona-chan, I'm afraid she gets hurt. Aren't you?" Tsukasa asked.

"Nah. She only needs to make a scary face and growl, and all the bandits will soil their pants in fear."

"Excuse me … I think she's back … and she heard you …"

"I know. I smelled her long ago."

Kagami emerged from within the mist and growled, "What? Am I so smelly?"

Konata smiled at Kagami, "Actually, I like the way you smell …"

She leaned towards Kagami, sniffed, and took a pause to allow Kagami's inevitable blush to appear.

"… but, unfortunately, it was that musket I smelled this time."

Kuroi stood up, "What, you took a musket from them? Amazing!"

"One of them was practicing with it and went too far from their camp. There's a _gaijin_ who seems to be their musket expert, but I couldn't get to her."

Kagami handed the musket to Kuroi, and continued, "I need some rest now … oh, and two more bandits won't be fit for action for a few weeks."

Tsukasa stared at Kagami, with eyes shining like stars. "Kagami is so cool! I admire her!"

Konata glared at Tsukasa. "Hsssss … she's mine!"

"I'm not yours!" Kagami growled.

* * *

"They are coming! Let only one in!" Kuroi shouted.

"Remember, close the line immediately after one is through!" Yui said.

Screaming and waving their swords, bandits rode forth. After one of them had gone through the gap, villagers jumped onto the road and set their spears. The following bandits' horses stopped and reared. Kagami and the other samurai sprung forward and hacked at the bandits, trying to bring them down.

Within the village, the reserve group raised a long pole to stop the advancing bandit. Her horse stopped before the obstacle. Other villagers poked at the bandit with their spears; she fell off and was clobbered unconscious by them.

The bandits at the gap turned around. Their leader ordered them to regroup and charge again. This time, the first two bandits charged at such speed that both got through before the thicket of spears was raised against the rest.

The two bandits rode around the village center, waving their swords. Without accomplishing anything, both were soon prodded by spears and fell from their mounts, into the hands of villagers.

Yet another charge was initiated with similar results. Eventually, the bandits realized that their tactic had failed, and their leader ordered them to retreat.

"They won't try that again." Kuroi said.

"They aren't that tough after all!" one of the villagers said.

"We got four. Kagami got two last night …" Kuroi calculated.

* * *

Later that day, Tsukasa and Konata were keeping watch.

"She just went out there and got one of the muskets. She's so cool! And so modest. She made it look like picking mushrooms," Tsukasa said.

Konata glared at her. "Stop talking about my _tsundere_! She's mine! I am the only one who is as cool as she – and more, I am cute too!"

"She's the best swordswoman I have ever known …" Tsukasa sighed, clasping her hands together and staring into space with her eyes shining.

"Right! That does it!" Konata shouted, jumped onto her feet, and ran through the gap and into the forest.

"Kona-chan?"

* * *

So, the dreaded killing (!) started at the previous chapter. Nameless bandits, Yutaka's "brother", who could have been adopted, half-brother, or just someone she called a brother – he won't have any more part in the story. When (or if :) it happens, the death of a named character will be something different…

Perhaps, no certainly, this is not one of the greatest stories, but it is a good experience to write something in a relatively tight framework – it's still pretty close to the movie.

Lately, I've been reading a large collection of guidebooks about writing. One book said, excuses are not allowed. You can't be too tired, do something "later", be "too busy", wait for inspiration, get it right "tomorrow", give up because of critics or someone else, be too old or too young, blame others for not writing, blame your demanding job or school, or to tell yourself it's not a good idea, etc. In other words, write, do not make excuses! I will try to follow this advice. So, a few hundred thousand words of more fanfic, coming up! I don't care if nobody reads it or cares about it. I just write. And as I promised, I will not read the reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき*すた), chapter 7

Since there are seven samurai, there shall be seven chapters. So, this is the last chapter, and probably the longest one as well. Detailed description of all the combat scenes didn't feel necessary after all, so it didn't became as long a story as I thought.

* * *

Konata ran through the forest. Upon hearing a horse neigh nearby, she slowed down and sneaked towards the sound. Peeking from behind the bushes, she saw some horses parked under the trees. She quickly crouched behind the cover again, when two bandits came running down the hillside. Both were running as fast as they could. Another put her right leg into the stirrups, but bent over and fell onto the ground, face down. A split second afterwards, the sound of a musket going off was heard.

The other bandit mounted a horse; beat its sides with her legs, spurring it into a gallop. Before she got very far, another musket bang was heard. The escaping bandit jerked backwards and fell from the saddle.

The bandit leader with her distinctive half-moon decorated helmet arrived, with a smoking musket in her hand. The _gaijin_, carrying not one but two muskets, and several other bandits accompanied her.

"Look! This is what happens to every coward!" Misao, the leader, announced, and kicked the fallen bandit.

The _gaijin_ handed one of the muskets and a smoking fuse to a scarred bandit wearing an eye patch. "Keep watch down there – signal us if those villagers make a suicide attack," Misao said.

After the bandits had marched away, Konata took a dirty rag from the fallen bandit's head and tied her hair back. She got up and tracked down the lone bandit carrying the musket by sniffing the air.

"Oi! What's up?" she yelled, and ran to the bandit, who was peeking towards the village from behind the trees.

"Yo! T' village people must be crazy. They can't possibly win," the bandit said, and sat down, blowing air on the fuse, to keep it burning.

Konata sat beside her, and kept silent for a few moments, with a thoughtful look on her face. Then she spoke, "You know, I have this friend, who doesn't like to kill people anymore."

"Oh? Dat's odd. How so?"

"I think she feels guilty, having killed so many."

"But killing goes wif da job. She'd better git her act together er boss will kick her out er worse."

"Do you have any suggestions about how to handle it?"

"For me, it's having sex `n` drinking sake. Those make me relax `n` ta forgit about past."

"Oh. Got to try that! So, don't you ever feel guilty about killing someone?"

"Well, yeah, it's not fun ta kill small kids. Makes yew recon about yore own kids. I hope dat guilt thang ain't contagious. Aur yew getting bangs of it?"

Grabbing her sword sheath, Konata drew her ridiculously long _ō__dachi_. "No, I'm fine, thank you."

The bandit looked at Konata, and slowly, her mouth dropped open and her expression changed into that of an extreme horror. She screamed at the top of her lungs, got up, letting the musket drop, and tried to run away. Konata bounced after her and cut her down from behind. She sheathed her sword, took the musket, and ran away, soon pursued by several bandits alerted by the scream.

Yelling, bouncing and waving the musket, Konata approached the gap in the barricades. Kuroi and the others standing guard looked at her in disbelief.

"Here it is!" Konata announced, showing the musket to Kuroi.

"_Baka!_ Why did you leave your position?" Kuroi snapped.

"I wanted to get a musket! Not that I know how to use it, though. And they still have at least two muskets left."

"You were irresponsible. In battle, nobody attacks without being commanded to."

"_Anoo_ … sorry, but Kagami did the same and you didn't scold her …"

Before Kuroi had time to think of a comeback, they heard screams from the village and galloping horses from the forest.

"They are coming! Yui, Miyuki – block the gap. Don't let any of them come through! Tsukasa, Kagami, let's check what's going on inside."

Konata handed the musket to one of the farmers, looked back and forth, and then decided to follow Kagami.

"Don't let any of them get through!" Yui shouted.

One of the mounted bandits was holding a musket and aimed it at the defenders, who scattered and ducked behind the trees. Musket went off, but the bullet whizzed harmlessly by them. Another bandit galloped forward at full speed. As she passed them, Yui leaped from behind the tree and scraped the bandit's leg with her katana. The farmers leaped into the way of the other raiders and set their spears, making the horses stop and rear.

The dazed bandit's horse galloped through the village. On the other side of the central clearing, the bandit slid off the horse and landed into the sand. A dozen of screaming village men dashed out from the building, waving all sorts of improvised weapons they had, from needles to frying pans. The bandit tried to crawl away, but was pummeled unconscious.

On the other side of the village, several bandits had sneaked in over the barricades. Kuroi, her reserve group of villagers, Kagami, Konata, and Tsukasa charged at them. After Kagami had knocked two bandits out and Konata wounded another, the rest fled. They chased the fleeing bandits to the barricades, but had no time to stop their escape.

At the gap, the defenders had to duck out of the way of a bow-wielding bandit. She and another, spear-wielding rider got through before they had time to close the road again.

"Two got through! Hurry!" Kuroi shouted.

The riders galloped around the center of the village, with farmers trying to avoid their arrows and spears. The spear-wielding bandit managed to stab two villagers, before being hacked down by Kagami and Konata. As the bow-wielding bandit was overwhelmed, they heard two musket shots from the direction of the gap.

"Group, keep watch here!" Kuroi said and dashed towards the gap, followed by the other samurai.

The bandits had retreated and everything was quiet. The farmers were kneeling around someone lying on the ground.

"Miyuki-san!" Tsukasa screamed.

There was a large blotch of blood on the kimono on upper right side of Miyuki's chest.

"Put her on a stretcher and bring her to Kobayakawa house! I and Yui will stand guard here. Tsukasa, get that village healer. Konata, Kagami, go with Miyuki and if she has … any last words, listen to them."

Tsukasa ran away. Carefully, the others lifted Miyuki's limp body onto the stretcher. Two villagers lifted it and started to walk. Kagami and Konata followed.

Inside the house, the healer held Miyuki's wrist for a while, feeling her pulse.

"The bullet has disrupted the balance of metal element in her body," the healer claimed.

"So what can you do about it?" Kagami asked.

"Sorry, but this is beyond my skills. Put her upper body slightly higher than her legs. That's about all I know."

The healer bowed deep and left. Kagami and Konata lifted Miyuki a bit and put a bundle of rice straws behind her back.

"There's a wound in her back too. The bullet has gone through," Kagami noted.

"That's a good sign. And she doesn't have that bloody foam on her lips. Those who had, always died. She might live," Konata said.

"You are pretty harsh," Kagami said and frowned.

"No, that's just what I have seen and experienced."

"Where did this experience came from?"

"I have taken part in many, great, glorious battles!"

"The only recent great battles I know about were – " Kagami started, but was interrupted by the arrival of Tsukasa and Hiyori.

"Kagami-san, Kuroi-sensei is asking for you. And how is Miyuki-san?" Tsukasa said.

"She's not dead yet. That's all we know."

"Isn't anyone asking for me?" Konata complained.

"Sensei said that you should stay with Miyuki-san for now."

"Darn. Separated again!" Konata said, looking at Kagami.

Kagami eyed Konata suspiciously and walked out.

"She also said that you should rest, and eat something. And … that you did a good job when you got that musket," Tsukasa concluded, and followed Kagami.

Hiyori knelt beside Miyuki, gently took the _gaijin_ goggles off her eyes and brushed some wisps of pink hair off her pale face.

"I know she will be more comfortable without those," Hiyori said, and took an ink stone from her bag.

"What are you doing?"

"Painting her portrait."

"Make me a copy of that. If … if she dies, I want to remember her _moe_-ness."

Hiyori prepared the ink, and took out a wooden pad, several pieces of paper, and the paintbrush.

"Izumi-san, don't you think men are much more _moe_ than women? Men are supposed to serve and please women."

"It's all a ruse. They – or their fathers – just want to catch a powerful, rich wife and live on her expense. Men are treacherous. They use their good looks, faked tears, and guilt trips to get their way."

* * *

The rest of the samurai were sitting near the gap, at a campfire. Kuroi was crossing off some more of the forty circles painted on a piece of paper, were they had kept a record of the number of bandits. Yui, having been given _sake_ by the farmers, was dozing off.

"Less than half of the bandits left. But those last ones were costly … Miyuki is out, and several farmers are wounded, and two died." Kuroi said. "The next attack is conclusive. The bandits are tired and hungry, some wounded … they attack at dawn. It's their final attempt."

"Tsukasa! Tell all groups and Konata that they can sleep now. Two of each group must stand guard."

"_Hai!"_

Tsukasa ran from one group to another and gave the orders. While coming back from the errand, she came across Minoru at the center. He was now wearing men's clothing.

Minoru just stared at Tsukasa and took a few steps back. Reflectively, Tsukasa walked after him. Three more steps, and Minoru was standing at the doorway to a barn. Eyeing Tsukasa, he stepped inside. Tsukasa found herself going in after him. Minoru grabbed her arms.

"We all die tomorrow!" Minoru said.

"No, we won't."

"It's hopeless! They have muskets!" Minoru said, and burst into tears.

"Not any more … I mean, we have taken most of the muskets – " Tsukasa said, grabbing Minoru's shoulders and gently shaking him.

"But they have far superior numbers!"

"Don't worry. We have eliminated half of them and – "

Minoru screamed, "_Baka!_ … now you have ruined the mood! We were alone in here! And there even was a large, soft pile of rice straw here!"

Tsukasa just stared at him with her mouth open. Minoru wrenched herself free and ran outside. He stopped and yelped, as he saw Yukari standing in front of him.

As Tsukasa stepped outside after Minoru, Yukari shouted, "Oh no! My son is soiled! His virginity has been taken! My family is forever shamed by this horrible deed! Nobody will now marry him …"

"_Anoo_ … what are you talking about?" Tsukasa said.

"Nothing happened! She's too dumb!" Minoru shouted, and ran away.

"I don't understand. What's up with him?"

Yukari snorted, turned on her heels and walked away.

"Could someone explain to me what's going on?" Tsukasa said, but there was nobody around.

* * *

One of the farmers came to Kuroi, bowed deeply, and placed a large jar in front of her. Kuroi bent and smelled it.

"Sake? Where did you get this?"

The farmer just shrugged and hurried away.

Kuroi took out cups and poured some for Yui and herself.

"Kagami? Could you take the rest to Konata?"

"Sure."

Kagami walked to Kobayakawa house and entered, just as Konata was saying, "Could we open her kimono front a bit? Just for some fan service?"

"Sure, why not – " Hiyori said, but stopped, as she noticed Kagami.

"What are you two doing to Miyuki-san?!" Kagami growled. "Taking advantage of a wounded samurai!"

Ignoring the question, Konata asked, "What's in that jar?"

"Sake."

"Sake! Gimme! Gimme!"

"I don't know if you even deserve it. How's Miyuki doing? And Minami?"

"Miyuki-san woke up earlier. She's got a bit of a fever, but she's sleeping for now. Yutaka-san has been with Minami-san back there all the time," Hiyori explained.

Konata got up and grasped the jar of sake. "Gimme! Gimme!"

Kagami didn't give up the jar and struggled to keep it. "How old are you, anyway? You look like a child, and behave like one."

"Nineteen!"

"Impossible. You can't be older than me!"

"I guess some people just look old sooner than others."

Kagami's eyes narrowed and she frowned. "Why, you little …"

"Oops! Sorry! I didn't mean you! I think you look … cool. Mature for your age. No, that was a bad choice of words!"

Kagami screamed, and yanked the jar out of Konata's grasp, splashing some sake on herself.

"Sorry, Kagamin! Forgive me! I didn't mean to make you angry!"

"Ooh, lovers' first quarrel!" Hiyori exclaimed, hastily scribbling on a piece of paper.

Kagami turned to face Hiyori, who immediately shut up, seemed to shrink in size, and gulped.

"Kagami! That's it! Use that face at the bandits, and they will soil their pants and surrender!" Konata shouted.

Kagami's face looked like it was about to explode, it was bright red and her cheeks puffed out – but then her expression changed, into serious and sad-faced.

"I wish it would be that easy …" she sighed, and, to Konata's surprise, handed the sake jar to her, and sat down.

Konata got some cups and poured some sake into them.

"I know you don't like killing. But we can't take all the bandits alive," Konata said softly, handing one of the cups to Kagami.

"After all of this is over, I want to go to Nara," Kagami said, seeming to talk to herself rather than to the others.

"Nara!" Konata gasped.

Kagami raised her head and looked at Konata. "What's wrong with Nara?"

"I … eh … nothing! Nothing! Can I come with you?"

"No!"

"No?"

Kagami looked away for a while, took a sip of sake, and whispered, "Okay … I have been alone so long. I'd like to have some company for a change. Even if it's you …"

"Yeah! It will be awesome!" Konata exclaimed. Kagami was not looking and didn't see the worried look on Konata's face.

"Kagami-san, could you say that again? I didn't hear all of it," Hiyori said.

Kagami glared at Hiyori and said, "Shut up and take some sake to Yutaka and Minami."

* * *

Rain poured down from the dark gray sky. One of the groups had been placed near the gap, and two within the village. Konata walked around, sticking swords on the ground on several locations. "Don't you touch these!" she said, "I will need them."

Kuroi was staring into the forest and listening carefully. No sounds of hooves could yet be heard, but everyone felt it – the bandits were there, grouping and getting ready for the last, desperate attack. They would never retreat from a mere village, even if said village had became the death of almost half of their numbers.

"There are only half of them left. So, we will let all of them in at once! Then, we close them in. This is the final battle!" Kuroi shouted.

Screaming and waving their weapons, the bandits charged through the gap. The farmers hid, until all the bandits had passed them. Hearing the sounds, the other groups within the village readied their spears.

Konata picked up one of the swords and cut down the first rider from her saddle. She had to jump out of the way of the second one, losing the grip from the sword and rolling around on the ground. Several of the farmers charged at the riders from the sides, and dropped two of them from the saddle. Yui coordinated the farmers so that each dismounted bandit was quickly eliminated.

Another group of farmers ran inside behind the bandits, lead by Kuroi, Kagami and Tsukasa. Kuroi ran to the porch of one of the houses and picked up Minami's bow.

The bandits were thrown into disorder. All they could do was to ride back and forth and hack at anyone within reach of their swords.

Two of the bandits rode behind one of the houses, quickly dismounted and entered the building. Most of the village men were inside, watching the battle. One of them screamed as he saw the bandits entering.

"Shut up or we kill you! Get out of our way," Misao, the bandit leader growled. "Patty?"

"Both loaded. Here's a fuse for you."

"The pigtailed one! Shoot her now!" Misao gasped.

Patty aimed her musket through the window opening, and aimed carefully.

* * *

The last bandits were attempting to flee over the barricades, but got ran through by the farmers' spears.

A musket went off inside a building. Kagami felt a massive blow on her chest, fell backwards, sword flying out of her hand. She laid still on the ground, eyes closed, and blood started to trickle through the seams of her breastplate.

Konata, seeing Kagami fall, screamed at the top of her lungs and charged into the building. The _gaijin _bandit, Patty, was trying to reload her musket, when Konata crashed through the door and plunged her sword through her neck. Then she dashed forward, and with a twisting motion, yanked the sword free, ripping it through the side of Patty's neck. Blood gushed out and she collapsed into a heap. Konata didn't stop but pushed through the panicked men. The bandit leader was holding another, loaded musket, and stumbling with the smoking fuse with her other hand.

* * *

Afterwards, Kuroi realized that only a few seconds had passed. At the time they felt like hours.

"Kagami! Kagami!" Kuroi shouted in a desperate voice, and knelt beside her. To her surprise, Kagami opened her eyes and started to get up. "We thought you were dead!"

"I … I think the bullet was partially deflected by the armor. I am wounded, but it doesn't feel too serious. Where's Konata?"

"She charged into –"

Before Kuroi had time to finish the sentence, they heard the deafening bang of a musket from inside the building. Kuroi yanked Kagami up from the ground; Kagami picked up her sword, and dashed forward.

The building was empty – except for the _gaijin_ bandit lying on the floor, blood gushing out of her neck, and frightened men cowering in the corners. The back entrance of the building was open. A few of the men pointed at it.

* * *

Konata had pressed on, swinging her sword, and the bandit leader took several steps backwards, crashing through the back entrance of the building. Just as Konata charged at her, she managed to set off the musket.

Konata felt a massive blow on the right side of her head. The world started to go black in her eyes, but she gritted her teeth, charged forward, holding her sword with both hands, and, using all her remaining energy, plunged it through Misao's armor and into her chest. Misao fell backwards and crashed to the outside of the building, with the sword still sticking out of her chest.

Konata felt the world spin, like she was falling through a great void. Then, darkness engulfed her.

* * *

Kagami limped through the back entrance. She turned deadly pale as she saw Konata lying face down in a puddle of blood, which was being diluted by the rain and flowing away. Kagami dropped her sword, grasped her own head with both hands, and shouted, "Hit on the head … I remember now! I remember! Two years ago!"

* * *

It was in Kyūshū, two years ago. I was a proud, young samurai, barely sixteen, on the way to my first battle. I was so confident, from a good family, the best student, praised by my teachers, a diploma from that prestigious fencing school…

What a fool I was.

But I learned fast.

The last day. No wonder I didn't remember. I never wanted to remember it. An entire day of blood and gore and death.

It was after the battle. I saw _her_ … a very young girl shot dead by a musket. Too young! Her face and head were all bloody and her blue hair soaked.

So what? It's just another samurai who died in battle. No death could be better. Couldn't it? Yet … that was the last straw. She was the youngest of them all. The smallest. The prettiest.

Seeing her finally made me snap. I was sad, sadder than ever in my life. It was not glorious. It was meaningless, a waste. Hundreds, thousands of lives were wasted in there. After that battle, I have never felt happy. I left everything, travelled away, sought peace, but all I found was more death, more sorrow. I don't know anything else but my sword. I live by my sword …

* * *

Only a second or two in time had been enough for the painful, suppressed memories to surface again with their full weight.

"It was her! It was Konata! But she, she was not dead! … I wish I had known. I wish I had known her … and now I have lost her again!" Kagami shouted, collapsed onto her knees beside Konata, crying and sobbing.

"I'm … not dead yet," Konata whispered.

"_Gya!"_ Kagami screamed. "What … what … why did you scare us like that! You could at least have moved a bit or something!"

"You thought I could just … die and leave you … alone? Besides … I thought _you_ were dead … too!" Konata said, and started to push herself up with her hands. Blood was flowing down the right side of her face.

Kagami helped Konata up. "Are you badly hurt?"

"I think the bullet … just grazed my head … maybe. It isn't even as bad as it was … in Kyūshū. I can't … even remember that battle."

"I remember! I saw you there! I'm … I'm sorry that I left you. But I didn't know you at that time and I thought you were dead …"

"We were on the opposite side … If you had known I was alive … it would have been your duty … to kill me."

"I … I could never have done that. No matter what."

Kagami thought, _"This is … this is what makes me feel good. That Konata is alive. I am not alone any more. She is by my side. It's because …"_

"… _it's love ... I love Konata!_" she sighed. _"Crap, did I just say that aloud?!"_

"Did … you say … you … love … me? I ... can … die … happy … now," Konata whispered, collapsed, and went limp.

"Konataaaaa!" Kagami screamed, lifted her small body onto her arms and started to run.

* * *

What? You want more? :) Why?

Okay, an epilogue is coming up…

Not much humor in this chapter, but can't help it. I read the collection of writer's guides again, especially those about comedy writing. The best advice I read today: _if you laugh at it yourself, it's probably okay_. Well, in this chapter, I laughed at Konata's conversation with the bandit. I was stuck at that point for a while, and then I had a moment of inspiration – who wouldn't be a better confidante than someone who dies at the end of the discussion? :)

Then I got stuck in other parts as well and this took ages to write…


	8. Epilogue

_Shichinin no Raki Suta (_七人のらき*すた), epilogue

So, Konata died. No, not really. Just kidding. How could I kill any of the main characters because I already have an idea for a sequel?

* * *

Slowly, Konata became aware of herself existing again, mostly due the pounding headache a dead soul could not be feeling. She couldn't see anything, but she realized that it was just because her eyes were closed. So she forced them open.

The first thing she saw was Kagami's weary and worried face. "Still not _moe_!" Konata whispered.

Kagami burst into tears. "Sorry that I cry like a man … but I'm glad that you live … we have waited for hours for you to come around."

"Okay, now that was a bit _moe_ … my _deredere_ …" Konata said, and tears appeared in her eyes as well.

"Kona-chan, are you okay? You lost quite a lot of blood." Tsukasa said.

"Yeah. My head hurts, though. I can't quite remember what happened. What did you say to me, Kagami, before I passed out? I think it was something important …"

"Oh. That was … nothing! I don't remember it myself. It was probably nothing."

Tsukasa said, "But Kagami-san, I was there. I heard you quite well. You said to Kona-chan, that you –"

"Shut up!"

"Don't you want to hear it? You said you had forgotten, and – "

"No! I don't want to! Don't say it! Let's just forget about it! It was nothing!" Kagami screamed.

"You know … I think I saw you the last time," Konata said.

"What?"

"In Kyūshū. You know, Shimazu vs. Toyotomi. Your side won. I woke up at some point for a while and saw you staring at me. I thought I had died and that a pigtailed demon had come to collect me."

"So you saw me as a demon!"

"Nah, just kidding. I actually thought you were an angel. Albeit a very sad angel. I wanted to get up and comfort you, but I couldn't move at all. Afterwards I thought it had just been a dream, until I saw you again."

"Wait, wait! Not so quickly! I need to write all this down," Hiyori said.

"_Gya!_ When did you get here? Who gave you the permission to listen to us?" Kagami groaned.

"Don't worry. I will use the story but it will be fiction. Your names won't be mentioned."

"Just get out – " Kagami started, but was interrupted by Konata.

"Kagami, how are you? I saw you take a bullet into your chest. I thought you died! And how are the others?"

"It's only a flesh wound. The armor you gave me deflected the bullet just enough. Nobody else of us was wounded in the final battle ... Miyuki still has a fever, but the healer said she will recover. Minami is okay too," Kagami said, and yawned.

"You look so tired. Lie down beside me. I'm so small that there's plenty of room for both of us on this mattress."

Indeed, Kagami had hard time to keep her eyes open. "Okay …" she said, absent-mindedly, put down her two swords, and collapsed onto the mattress. Sighing deeply, Konata cuddled closer to her and both fell asleep within a minute.

"I must draw this immediately! I must paint this!" Hiyori gasped.

* * *

A week had passed. The seven samurai, and Yutaka who was assisting Minami, walked down the road by the fields. Most of the farmers had gathered there – the men were planting rice, while a group of women played and sang the traditional rice-planting songs.

Minoru was running past them, carrying baskets filled with rice saplings. He stopped for a while, and stared at Tsukasa. Before she had time to say anything, Minoru snorted and went on his way. "I still don't understand men …" Tsukasa whispered.

Soon, they were standing at the crossroads outside the village. It was one of those moments, when it is hard to find the words. It was the end of their time together; it was time for some of them to part their ways.

Minami, who insisted she was well enough to see them off, said, "To tell you the truth ... I am not a samurai, but a merchant's daughter. All the bandits were not caught, they might return ... I will stay here and keep this village safe. And you all are welcome here again at any time."

"Merchant's daughter? To all of us, you are a true samurai!" Kuroi said.

"I will come to the city with you, Nanako-san. But we will part there. Perhaps some Lady will take me as a vassal. Then, we probably get into some futile war and our side loses. That's how it usually goes. But I'll survive," Yui said.

Miyuki said, "I didn't seek a battle … but I'm happy that I came along. I am also going to the city, so we will not part ways yet."

Tsukasa said, "I … I'll travel with Kuroi-sensei. I hope I will learn to be like her …"

"You shouldn't do that," Kuroi said. "Haven't you seen that I lose most of the battles I get into? Do you want to be like that?"

Konata said, "I and Kagami will accompany you to the city. That's on our way."

"Why is it _our_ way? Who decided that?" Kagami asked.

"You! You said you wanted me to come with you. To Nara."

"Did I? I plead to temporary insanity!"

"You won't be lonely … ever again."

Kagami's expression started to soften, but she turned quickly around, and said, "Okay … you can come along – for now. Why don't we get going? So that we get to the city before dark. Goodbye, Minami-san, Yutaka-san!" And she started walking.

* * *

So now I have practiced writing something in a tight framework made by someone else. It was hard, and the result is not quite satisfying. But it was good experience.

I'm in fact writing the sequel already. It will be M-rated, so browse for M-rated stuff if you wish to read it. No, it's not porn or hentai, but … well, you'll see why it is rated :). However, it might take a few weeks before even the first chapter is published.

The sequel will be independent, so that people don't have to read this story before it.


End file.
